Mom it Forward » Jyl Johnson Pattee

Fashion: Which Celebrity Best Defines Your Personal Style?

Jyl Johnson Pattee — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 12:00:37 +0000

Nicole Feliciano from Mom Trends asked a fabulous question a few months ago, a question that immediately stumped me: “Which celebrity best defines your personal style?” What would your answer be?

I certainly love some celebrities’ style. Like Audrey Hepburn. So simple, clean, and beautiful—Ann Taylor-esque. That used to be me when I worked in Corporate America. But, it definitely doesn’t define me now.

I now find myself in kind of a hodge-podge state, wondering what my style is period. Can any of you work-at-home gals relate? It’s like I have multiple style personalities:

The work-at-home attire
The going-out-during-the-day look (to meet a client, lunch with friends, etc.)
The cocktail-party style

My Work-at-Home Attire

When I’m behind the computer for 10 hours straight, I’m all about the comfy factor. And to achieve that, some days, I relish in the whole layered look. Layered meaning wearing two t-shirts—one with short sleeves and the other with long sleeves to go underneath the top layer. Aren’t two always better than one… except in summer?

As the perfect companion to this double tee look, whenever I can get away with it, I wear my favorite Old Navy flip flops. You know the kind? They’re on sale for usually about $5.00 and are probably the worst shoes ever for your feet, but are so comfy you just can’t help yourself? I made the mistake of all fashion mistakes by wearing them with socks earlier this winter. I know! Horrible, right? But, I just can’t seem to get into winter this year and some days it was just too cold to go out without my socks on. I embarrassed even myself and put a stop to it!

Since this hasn’t been my look until recently, I only have about one pair of jeans, so I pretty much wear the same pair all the time. My sis made me buy some Target jeans yesterday. The jury is out on whether they really look good or whether she was just being kind. I’ll have to show Allison, because she’ll be honest with me. Everyone needs an Allison in their fashion life!

My Going-Out-During-the-Day Look

Because I’m not a comfy dresser at my core, unless I’m really lazy (which happens a lot, but don’t let it confuse you), I love looking somewhat put together when I go out during the day. I’ll be straight up with you. I love black. I would wear monochrome black all the day long paired with bold MAC eye shadow just so people didn’t think I was trying to copy Johnny Cash. However, wearing monochrome black all the time gets old. So, now, I wear all black with bold wool tights (like my favorite mustard colored ones from H&M).

My Cocktail-Party Style

This next part is what stumps me and this is where the hodge-podge style comment comes into play. I love getting dressed up for an event! I seriously die for cocktail party attire even if it requires walking really slow as I learn how to move from $5.00 flip flops to three-inch heels. I like pretty dresses, fun tights, and getting as close to my dream of being 5’9 as possible. Red lipstick and bold MAC eyeshadow is the icing on the cake… or fun short hair with awesome highlights.

Why does this stump me? Because I can’t find a common thread among all three looks. I don’t feel overly conservative or comfy, but I don’t feel really bold in my style either.

Which Celebrity Defines My Personal Style?

So, which celebrity most closely defines my comfy behind-the-computer look with a simple, but nice go-out-during-the-day look with a fun style that pops for cocktail parties? You tell me!

What celebrity most closely defines your style? Do you like to dress up, or are you more comfortable with the casual look?

Photo courtesy of flickr.

Support: 8 Tips for Parenting Children With Health and Other Challenges

Jyl Johnson Pattee — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 18:00:04 +0000

Let’s go back in time a moment, shall we?

Growing Up With Epilepsy

I’m 14. One day I’m watching an after-school special with my classmates about a kid with Epilepsy. He has a seizure during a basketball game. Isn’t that funny? We’re laughing. We don’t understand. We all join in on the laughter.

It’s a month later and now I’m having a seizure.

A week after that, I’m on medication that makes me fall asleep in the middle of class. I’ll be on it for the rest of my life. I’ll drop a gallon of milk, because my hands are so unsteady I can’t hold it.

My teachers will get mad at me, because my otherwise beautiful handwriting somehow turns sloppy. As it turns out, a gallon of milk isn’t all I can’t hold. Even a pencil is tough.

I’ll break my jaw in three places. I’ll fracture my skull. I’ll get 42 staples in my head. I’ll break off all of my front teeth. My platelets will drop into the below low normal range, spotting me with bruises, and we won’t know why. I’ll have bone marrow aspirations to discover.

I’ll lose hair. I’ll gain weight. I’ll be scared to get pregnant. I’ll have high-risk pregnancies. I’ll have seizures in an airplane, at the gas tank, and in a parking lot. I’ll give speeches and wonder every time what will happen if I fall and whether people will still see me as normal if I do.

But, I don’t see all that coming when I’m 14. I can’t know it, but even still, I have had a seizure. And suddenly the after school special doesn’t seem as funny. I’m not laughing anymore. I work hard to hide my secret, because I don’t want the kids laughing at me like we laughed at basketball boy. Because now, I’m that kid with Epilepsy. And I grow tired trying to hide my secret. And finally, I have a seizure that everyone sees and the secret has been uncovered. And, I am horrified and relieved all at once, even as I struggle to learn that everyone has their things and that there is no such thing as normal.

Parenting Children With Health or Other Challenges

Back to current time. You’re the parent. You have a challenged child. Meaning that your child has Epilepsy or Diabetes or is on the Autism Spectrum or has Schizophrenia or Food Allergies or Low Self-Esteem or a mixture of other challenges. You want to raise him or her with confidence, with the opportunities to enjoy a happy childhood without worrying about such seemingly adult challenges like health or mental health or other such issues. You want to help navigate through the symptoms. You are scared. You don’t have all the answers. What do you do? Where do you go for help?

While I can only speak from the point of view of someone who has epilepsy and not the parent of a child with epilepsy, I have had many conversations with my mom about how she parented me.

7 Keys to Parenting a Challenged Child

My 10 year-old son suffers from anxiety, so now it is my turn to take all of the lessons I learned from her and to apply them as a parent. Here are some things I learned from my mom that I hope will also help you:

Increase understanding. First and foremost, learn everything you can about your child’s diagnosis. This could take years, but search high and low, online and offline, to get in the know!
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Find support. Whether you join a support group in your community or find one online, make sure to reach out to others with children in similar circumstances. Not only are other parents great resources for information, they will help you feel that you aren’t alone in your parenting struggles.
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Set realistic expectations. Once you are armed with information, help your child learn to understand his or her challenges. Do this in a factual way. For example: “You have epilepsy. If you don’t take your medication, you will most likely have a seizure. If you do take your medication, you may experience some side effects, but they won’t be as bad as having a seizure.”
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Learn to live within limitations. I found that I really wanted to be in control of my health, so learning what I could and couldn’t control was really important to me. In my situation, I could control whether or not I took my medication. But I couldn’t control whether I had a seizure. However, the risks of me having one almost 100 percent decreased if I took my medication. So, it was up to me! Knowing that helped me feel in control and like I had options.
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Note: I pushed every limit as a teen. I skipped taking my meds. I lived with a lot of stress. I stayed out all night in college, etc. And, I reaped the consequences every time until I finally said: “I HATE having seizures. I’d rather live within my limitations than have one.” So, if your child is pushing limits, consider it part of their growth process of learning to live within their limitations. Ultimately, it is up to them to decide the lifestyle they want to have and to choose accordingly.
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Don’t compare. Every person, whether you can detect it or not, lives with challenges. Not everyone has health issues. You just can’t compare your challenges as a parent to the challenges other parents face. So don’t compare! You’ll be miserable every time.
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Give opportunities for growth. If I could only give huge kudos to my mom for one thing, it would be for her ability to help me feel like I could do anything, even when some things were more difficult for me. If your child is challenged, regardless of how severe, find opportunities that make sense for him or her and offer ways to help achieve success in those areas.
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My mom was really scared to let me travel alone, but I really wanted to be a foreign exchange student. She got a lot of push back from other parents, including family members, when she encouraged me to interview for a spot. But I never knew that until I was an adult. All I knew as a teenager was that she helped me prepare for the interview and was ecstatic when I got accepted into the program. My dad was the same. She always made me feel that I should reach for the stars. If I worked hard enough or was resourceful enough, she thought I could achieve anything. It didn’t mean she wasn’t scared. Or didn’t lose sleep. But, I grew up thinking I could do anything and eventually forgot epilepsy may get in my way.
Note: I did have a seizure while I was a foreign exchange student and my mom’s worst nightmare came true. But, it taught us all that I could handle my health challenges on my own, which was an important lesson for a 17-year old to learn (and the parent of a 17-year old)!
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Get help! Some challenges are far more severe and difficult to deal with than something like epilepsy. I have a brother with schizophrenia and I always think that my epilepsy prepared my mom for that much bigger challenge and yet if you ask her, she’ll tell you that nothing prepares you for something like Schizophrenia or mental illness in general.If you are feeling hopeless or don’t know what to do, reach out to someone with more information. Talk to a doctor or other parents about ways to get help and then seek out that help. Information is the first step, because knowledge is power.
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Have hope! This is so easy to say, especially in tough moments. But, do whatever you can to build a reservoir of hope. Recognize that you may have to go through a grieving process. Come to terms that this situation may be long term. Then, have hope, knowing that with information, support, and going through the other steps listed above will help you to do everything you can to influence your child’s life. Ultimately, the health struggles he or she faces will be outside of your control, but how you deal with them and in turn, how you teach your child to approach them and manage them, is completely within your influence.

I am now 41 years old. I have two happy and healthy boys. I am married to a fantastically funny guy! I enjoy life by eating large amounts of cheese, dancing like crazy whenever I get the chance, traveling to the ends of the earth and back, and (yes!) giving speeches even though I am nervous I may have a seizure. And life is good! Now… to help my son face his challenges with anxiety so he, too, can feel that life is good!

What tips do you have for raising kids with health or other challenges? How do you help them enjoy life in spite of their challenges?

Photo 1 courtesy of Flickr and Photo 2 courtesy of Flickr.

Praise: Three Steps for Building Your Child’s Self-Esteem

Jyl Johnson Pattee — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 12:20:06 +0000

Imagine your child’s self-esteem as a house. It doesn’t appear simply because you want it to, but rather is constructed over time. Its strength depends on the foundation that you build day in and day out, through simple acts of love and care. Consider that every time you offer sincere praise to your child, you are adding a brick to your child’s foundation and fortifying him with the sense of self-worth that he needs to eventually stand on his own.

Three Guidelines for Effective Praise

To build the best possible foundation for your child, practice these three simple guidelines for effective praise:

1. Use Your Words

The first thing to remember about effective praise is that it needs to be spoken aloud. Never assume that your son is aware of how great it is that he helps his sibling or that your daughter knows she did a good thing by sharing her toy. Tell your children in words how you feel about what you see. Add in a gentle hug and kiss to reinforce your praise. It is a human need to receive positive feedback. What’s more, giving praise for your child’s desirable behaviors is also one of the best ways to ensure that the behaviors are repeated—bonus!

2. Mean What You Say

The best praise is that which is honest and sincere. False or empty compliments do not give a child valuable information about what makes them special, unique, talented, or strong; it gives them nothing to build on. Base praise on an action, trait, skill, or ability that the child can understand and can intentionally repeat. Praise builds relationships. When you offer a child a sincere compliment about something that is genuinely meaningful, you discover things that you enjoy in common with him, thereby adding to the foundation of your bond.

3. Say What You Mean

Be specific when giving praise to a child. Compare these statements:

a) Nice job.

b) I really like the way you helped me with your baby sister, by putting on her crib shoes. You were very helpful and kind.

Which compliment gives your child clear information about the behavior you would like to see repeated? Which one is more likely to build their self-esteem as an important member of your family?

Spoken, sincere, specific praise builds the foundation of your child’s self-esteem. It also strengthens the bonds between family members and encourages the repetition of positive behaviors. Now that’s a house you can all live in together!

Signe Whitson is a freelance writer and co-author of The Angry Smile: The Psychology of Passive Aggressive Behavior in Families, Schools and Workplaces. She is also a licensed social worker and mother to two young daughters. Please visit her blog about passive aggressive behavior. My Baby Clothes Boutique provides her articles to help give back to the parenting community.

Giveaway! Win a BlogHer Full-Access Pass From Time to Play

Jyl Johnson Pattee — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 18:26:36 +0000

I can’t believe BlogHer 2010 is almost here. It feels like it was just yesterday that I was hopping from party to party in Chicago.

I was so excited to repeat the fun experience that I bought my BlogHer 2011 ticket early. But we all know that tickets sold out fast and not everyone was able to get a full-access pass.

And that’s where this fun giveaway from Time to Play comes in!

(Picture from the Sparkle Corn party, including Allison Czarnecki, Michelle Lamar, me, Barbara Jones, Marie LeBaron, and Ciaran Blumenfeld.)

The Prize

Time to Play is offering one lucky winner the chance to experience BlogHer in New York City this year. Just follow the entry requirements below and you’ll be entered for a chance to win one full-access pass to BlogHer 2010.

Note: This giveaway only includes the pass. No travel, lodging, or additional expenses are included. Only those able to go to New York City should enter.

Entry Requirements

For a chance to enter and win, please complete the following three requirements and leave a separate comment for each:

Follow @timetoplay on Twitter.
Visit the Time to Play blog and leave a comment on this post, sharing the post you most enjoyed.
Tweet the following:

ENDS 2NITE! Enter 2 win a full-access pass 2 #BlogHer from @timetoplay on @momitforward! http://bit.ly/c9MO66 #gno #BlogHer10 PLS RT
Can’t wait to chat back to school w/@timetoplay 2NITE @ #gno Twitter party (9-11 ET): http://bit.ly/aQEOaU PLS RT

Extra Entries

The following five entries are completely optional and will earn you one extra entry per item for this giveaway. Leave a separate comment on this post for each completed entry.

Follow @jimsilver and @thetoyguy on Twitter.
Follow @momitforward on Twitter.
Follow Mom It Forward on Facebook at http://facebook.com/momitforward.
Become a Friend of Mom It Forward’s Google Friend Connect (see box in right sidebar).
Subscribe to the Mom It Forward RSS feed (click on orange heart at the bottom left on the homepage).

Terms and Conditions

No purchase necessary to enter. Giveaway ends on at 10:30 p.m. ET on Tuesday, July 27 2010. The winner will be announced during the #gno Twitter party. See all terms and conditions here.

Giveaway! Win a Prize Pack of Toys From Time to Play

Jyl Johnson Pattee — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 15:42:11 +0000

Time to Play has combined experience in the toy industry of more than 100 years. They travel the world looking at the newest toys, video games, and entertainment products. They scour the stores and talk to the manufacturers about the products they’re promoting. Then they start playing.

Their goal is to give you the best information and the easiest way for you to find the toys, videos, electronics, accessories and more that are perfect for your child… or yourself!

The Prize

Time to Play is providing one lucky winner with an awesome prize pack with these toys and products (ARV $280):

Graco Interactive Smart Baby Doll, $79.99
Velcro Kids Royal Princess Castle, $29.99
Alex Cap it Off Jewelry Set, $17.99
Whiplash Scooter, $79.99
Iron Man Techbot, $14.99
Crayola Glow Explosion, $9.99
Crayola Dry Erase Travel Pack, $9.99
Barbie Pocket Learner, $24.99
Bakugan Bakutriad, $12.99

Entry Requirements

For a chance to enter and win, please complete the following three requirements and leave a separate comment for each:

Follow @timetoplay on Twitter.
Visit the Time to Play website, check out the Toy Reviews section, and leave a comment on this post, sharing one toy you’d most like to get your child and why.
Tweet the following:

GIVEAWAY! Enter 2 win an @timetoplay prize pack full of toys (ARV $280) http://bit.ly/bv1U6i #timetoplay #gno PLS RT
Check out great toy and game reviews on http://timetoplaymag.com. Perfect site for back to school! #timetoplay PLS RT

Extra Entries

The following five entries are completely optional and will earn you one extra entry per item for this giveaway. Leave a separate comment on this post for each completed entry.

Follow @jimsilver and @thetoyguy on Twitter.
Follow @momitforward on Twitter.
Follow Mom It Forward on Facebook at http://facebook.com/momitforward.
Become a Friend of Mom It Forward’s Google Friend Connect (see box in right sidebar).
Subscribe to the Mom It Forward RSS feed (click on orange heart at the bottom left on the homepage).

Terms and Conditions

No purchase necessary to enter. Giveaway ends on at midnight ET Wednesday, July 28, 2010. See all terms and conditions here.

Tips to Help Your Children Maximize Their Summer Camp Experience

Jyl Johnson Pattee — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 15:52:54 +0000

Water sports at Summer Camp

Do you remember the first time you went to camp? How old were you when your parents left you to fend for yourself, among a group of other kids your size and older?

If you were like many kids away from home in a cabin, you probably thought you were in another world that was both scary and exciting. Camping as a family outing is almost unheard of to most kids these days, and summer camp is often as close as they get to real camping.

My niece’s son, Noah, who is 9 years old, recently went to his first summer camp—it was a week at a nearby lake camp with other kids from the area. One thing they asked the parents to do was to provide handwritten notes that could be given to each child each day. This would ensure the camper heard from a parent or family member every day, and let them know that they were missed.

Children will usually take summer camp one way or another: they either love it or hate it. The younger a child starts to attend camp, the better the chances are that it will be enjoyable for them. When a young person gets to the tweens or teens, they become set in what they think is entertainment, and camping can be the least appealing of the choices they would make. In the case of Noah, he loved it!

It helps when children are able to make friends fast when they are at camp. On the first trip, there is a possibility that almost every child will be a stranger to them, and even when they go every year, there is no guarantee that they will see the same groups of people on any visit. Probably the most important lesson at camp is to relate to new people and get along harmoniously. Parents can make this an exciting part of camp for their child, and make it a game for them to learn as much about the other kids in their group.

Some parents depend on camp to teach their children some structure for their lives, and it is a good way to instill basic disciplines of doing things on time and following orders, while enjoying themselves at the same time. The difference from discipline in school and camp is the fun factor, and the fact that Mom and Dad aren’t in the picture. I have found that kids can be totally different—usually in a good way—when they are on their own, and away from familiar environments.

There’s something very special about campfires and telling stories, singing, and just getting to know the people you might not see again after camp. Being away from television, video games, phones and all the other kinds of manufactured entertainment gives children an opportunity to be creative, and talk and learn more from other people. What contributes even more is if the camp policy is for no cell phones or at least limited use, so that the separation from the outside world is more complete.

Sleeping in a cabin with several other individuals is another learning experience as kids learn to respect others’ values and habits. Some children come from homes where they don’t have to share space with anyone else, and living in an environment where the opposite is true helps prepare them for life beyond their personal area at home.

Another thing to bring kids to the realization of important of respect for others is the bathroom setup. Most often, there is a separate washroom and shower area where they must not only leave their cabin, but must plan when they are going to go to allow for other people using the facilities. And they will have some fun with that too—Noah came back saying that boys were messy and stinky!

Not every summer camp is the same, but they all have similar activities, many of which concern water sports, such as swimming and boating. It is always best to teach a child to swim before they attend camp, but it is not a requirement. Counselors are versed in helping kids to learn swimming, but they are also in charge of many kids, making it an inconvenience to spend much time one on one with any single person.

Areas are usually roped off for swimming to prevent boats and personal water craft from coming too close and causing a hazard. Children who can’t swim have places in the water that are shallow enough for them to play safely under close supervision. There are some tips here on keeping children safe during water sport activities.

Water skiing and wakeboarding are two of the highlights for water recreation at camp, but other kinds of towables furnish fun for children of all ages. Because there are so many kids wanting to ride and limited powerboats to pull them, some of the favorite types of towables are the banana or hot dog style water toys, where several kids can ride at the same time.

Every summer camp at the lake or beach usually has a floating island or water trampoline where kids can bounce and jump, or go down an attached slide. This gives more children an opportunity to enjoy the water without waiting in line to be towed by the boats. They can work off a lot of energy on these water bouncers, and stay cool at the same time.

Because group activities, both in the water and out, are what most summer camps exemplify, most children get an education and experience they would never hope to find anywhere else in life. Although all those experiences will not be fondly remembered by every participant, the overall picture that children receive from their brief time camping is often a good and healthy one.

About the Author

Jane Warren is an outdoor enthusiast who enjoys swimming, boating, and other water sports. She developed her love for the open water as a child, when she was able to attend summer camps that encouraged participation in watersport activities.

Because of her interest in water sports, Jane started the website www.towabletubesdirect.com, where she provides information and reviews on brands of inflatable water toys, such as Airhead and Sportsstuff. The water toys include tube towables, kayaks, canoes, water skis, wakeboards, water trampolines, and related sport accessories.

RSVP for Tuesday’s Twitter Party With Time to Play

Jyl Johnson Pattee — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 14:49:02 +0000

Can you believe it’s already back-to-school season? Doesn’t it feel like school just let out? And although there is still lots of summer left and vacays still to take, school supplies and back-to-school deals are starting to pop up. Are you ready to help transition your kids from home to the classroom?

Party Topic

This Tuesday night, join the fun folks from Time to Play, and other gals from the Mom It Forward community, at a #gno Twitter party focused on getting ready for back-to-school season. The party goes from 9-11 p.m. ET (8-10 p.m. CT, 7-9 p.m. MT, and 6-8 p.m. PT). Click here and here to check out this week’s two amazing giveaways!

Party Details

What: Girls’ Night Out (#gno) Twitter party (Click here to learn about #gno!)
When: Tuesday, July 27, 9-11 p.m. EST (8-10 CT, 7-9 MT, & 6-8 PT)
Where: Party with us here on our very own Custom Tweetgrid! (Use hashtags #gno and #timetoplay.)
Topic: Back to School
Who: Brand Panelist: @timetoplay @jimsilver @thetoyguy Community Panelists: @clueless_mama @consumerqueen @dadarocks @lisasamples @robynsworld @stacieinatlanta @TheHaleMom Moderators: @jylmomIF @Dadventurous @troypattee and @momitforward
Party Favors: Click here to enter for a chance to win a Time to Play prize pack and here to enter for a chance to win a full-access pass to BlogHer.

RSVP

Use Mr. Linky below (enter the twitter URL and your twitter ID (e.g., http://twitter.com/jylmomIF).

Note: Mom It Forward accepts paid sponsorships for most #gno Twitter parties. During the parties, brand sponsors provide tips, techniques, expert advice, and information on party topics. Mom It Forward is grateful for the giveaway prizes, coupons, and discounts that sponsors also provide to the Mom It Forward community in conjunction with #gno Twitter parties.

Photo courtesy of Flickr.

Giveaway! Win 2-Night Stay, Dinner for Two, or Spa Treatment at The Canyons

Jyl Johnson Pattee — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 01:32:22 +0000

I’ve recently learned to love resort vacays. It all started with a few stays at The Canyons resort with the fam last fall and winter. Then, I joined 300 gals for the fabulous evo’10 Conference. Then, my in laws treated the whole family to a retreat there. I’ve become quite addicted.

And this week, three lucky winners will be able to take advantage of the amenities and services there.

The Prize

Three lucky winners will receive one of the following, good through July 9, 2011:

Grand prize: A 2-Night Stay at one of The Canyons’ properties and a spa treatment at The Grand Summit Spa
1st Prize: A Swedish Massage at The Golden Door Spa
2nd Prize: Dinner for Two at the Alpine House

Entry Requirements

For a chance to enter and win, please complete the following three requirements and leave a separate comment for each:

Follow @thecanyons on Twitter.
Visit The Canyons website and leave a comment on this post, sharing one of the following: the property you’d most like to stay at, at The Canyons; the spa treatment you’d most like to get; or the restaurant you’d like to visit.
Tweet the following:

GIVEAWAY! Enter 2 win a 2-nite stay, dinner 4 two, or a spa treatment from @thecanyons http://bit.ly/ajZdHW #thecanyons #gno PLS RT
Join @thecanyons Tues 7/20 @ #gno Twitter party 2 chat summer resort vacays & travel tips: http://bit.ly/bCZTtz PLS RT

Extra Entries

The following entry is completely optional and will earn you one extra entry for this giveaway. Leave a separate comment on this post for this completed entry.

Follow @momitforward on Twitter.
Follow Mom It Forward on Facebook at http://facebook.com/momitforward.
Become a Friend of Mom It Forward’s Google Friend Connect (see box in right sidebar).
Subscribe to the Mom It Forward RSS feed (click on orange heart at the bottom left on the homepage).

Terms and Conditions

No purchase necessary to enter. Giveaway ends on at midnight PT Saturday, July 24, 2010. See all terms and conditions here.

Money Makeover Monday Part IV: Bring the Whole Family On Board

Jyl Johnson Pattee — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 00:48:25 +0000

Written by Jessica Swesey of LifeTuner

We moms understand the importance of unity when it comes to our families. If one kid oversleeps, it can set off a chain reaction that causes each sibling and parent to be late for school or work. One runny nose and the next thing you know the whole family is down for the count. And so on and so on…

In your pursuit of a money makeover, you’re eventually going to need to bring the family along for the ride. One kid may need just a little trim of the bangs, while the other needs the works: new shoes, new jeans, a haircut and a new outlook on life. Whatever the situation, it’s important to talk to your kids about money and make them part of the family discussions. You’ll thank yourself and they will thank you later in life.
Ugh, really?

Well, it at least doesn’t have to be as bad as you may be thinking… handcuffing the kids to the dining room table while you lecture about the difference between a 401(k) and an IRA. No, it can be a lot easier and fun.

Denise LaBuda, founder of MoneyWizdom, a website that helps parents teach their kids financial skills that are essential to life (yet not taught in most schools), shares a lot of great ideas for how to teach your kids about money. She offers guidance for everything from dealing with temper tantrums in the store to discussing a parent losing her job to creating fun games.

Have a listen!

Part four of a four-part guest post series by Jessica Swesey who is the Managing Editor of LifeTuner.org, a place to get financial tools, tips and direct access to financial experts who answer your questions online.

Fairness vs. Equality: Teaching Kids the Difference

Jyl Johnson Pattee — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 05:00:22 +0000

Does this sound familiar in your household?

“Dad!” How come she got a flowered sun hat and I didn’t?”

“Mom! He always gets to stay up later than me. It’s not fair!”

If cries of “UNFAIR!” are the most frequently heard accusation in your family, you are not alone. One of the most common sources of sibling conflict has to do with issues of fairness and equality. The possibilities for jealousy seem endless:

A newborn baby is awake at midnight, inspiring her toddler sister to wonder why her parents let the baby stay up late.
A toddler sees all the baby gifts for the newborn and wants to know why she doesn’t get any.
A tween is furious when his pre-school aged sister gets a stern lecture for hitting, but he gets grounded for the same misbehavior
A sister feels slighted when her mom misses her swim meet. She knows that her brother has special needs, but is sick of their mom “always putting his doctor visits first.”
A sister is given extra money to buy a formal dress for her prom.
A college-age son has a later curfew than his younger teen siblings.

It goes without saying that no two family members are exactly alike. Even in the case of identical twins, all siblings develop their own unique personalities, preferences, needs, interests, strengths, and abilities. Likewise, sibling age, temperament, physical abilities, learning styles, and developmental needs all necessitate individualized attention from parents.

One of the most important lessons siblings ever learn is that in family life, equality does not mean fairness and fairness does not require equality. When brothers and sisters realize that many aspects of their family relationships will be entirely unequal, yet also completely fair, they are better able to accept differences, move beyond jealousies, and overcome destructive sibling conflict.

The advice in this article is from Signe Whitson, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and an advocate for the mental health of children and adolescents. This and more can be found on her blog on passive aggressive behavior in all parts of your life. She contributes her advice to My Baby Clothes Boutique to share with the parenting community.