We’re hosting an online book club at Mom It Forward to discuss ways to teach your kids and teens better manners through games and fun activities. It’s called, “365 Manners Kids Should Know: Games, Activities, and Other Fun Ways to Help Children and Teens Learn Etiquette” by Sheryl Eberly and Caroline Eberly.

Book Club Details

• What: Join us for an online live chat all about parenting. We’ll be discussing the book 365 Manners Kids Should Know: Games, Activities, and Other Fun Ways to Help Children and Teens Learn Etiquette by Sheryl and Caroline Eberly.
• When: Wednesday, February 29 from 2-3 p.m. EST (1 p.m. CT, 12 p.m. MT, & 11 a.m. PT).
• Where: Party with us in our very own MomItForward Chat Room. (Click here to go to the MomItForward Chat Room.)

See you then!

Painting on canvas is a really fun exercise. It takes thought, generates imagination, and engages the mind and soul. It is also a project everyone can do. Rarely do you find an activity that is for all ages and will create a bonding moment as well. When is the last time you painted? Very few of us ever do, and yet painting is about telling a story and creating a product from your own mind.

As a homeschool mom and entrepreneur, I tend to lean towards projects that foster creativity. But even for traditional school kids, supplementing the things they learn in school, or breaking out the canvas for a family project one night a month, is a fun and unexpected surprise.

Our paintings from when our guests visited are still hanging in the kitchen, each one reminding me of the child who created it. Some of the themes are deeply profound, others frivolous. Each one is beautiful in its own way.

Are your kids feeling cooped up in the house on weekends? Go buy some blank canvasses and paint. Give them license to create art for your walls. If have guests in town, this is an unforgettable memory that even grandparents and all relatives and friends can participate in and have fun.

What craft projects do you like to do as a family?

Photo Courtesy of flickr.

Tammy Kling is a life coach, crisis management expert, and advocate for the homeless. She is an international author of 37 books including The Compass. Tammy is also the founder of The Homeless Writers Project, an organization that helps those living on the street write out their hopes & dreams via writers workshops, free journals and other resources. Tammy is a mom of two boys, an avid trail and mountain runner, blogger, and adventure travel writer

This past week, I had the chance to work with homeless moms and dads whose kids go to school at the Vogel Alcove in Dallas. I worked in the holiday store where we were able to give free Christmas gifts to the parents for the kids.

At this school, smiling toddlers run around and laugh, making crafts and painting beautiful cards in the classroom. Only the crafts they make in school are for a cause, sold to help families get back on their feet.

Watching people on the street is always heart wrenching, but at Christmas it seems to be magnified. A young homeless mother shopping for her five year-old is no different than you or I. She loves her kids, and knows exactly what they like or dislike. She passed over the robot for the football and chose the toy truck over the puzzle. She picked out two black knit hats, opting to buy the same thing for both kids, instead of choosing from a variety of different colors. “That way,” she said, “they won’t fight over it.”

A staff member had instructed me to take no more than 15 minutes to let the parent shop. I led her around the store and we filled a giant bag with toys. I waited patiently as the mother tried to decide on several pairs of socks. It was her child, after all, and one of the few things she felt she had control over.

I try to remember that it’s the human connection that matters. Getting a homeless person off the street isn’t about things. It’s about words, inspiration, and letting them know their life has purpose.

The statistics are alarming. In Oklahoma, the average age of a homeless person is nine. Positive Tomorrows is a school for homeless children that also provides help for the parents, in the form of adult life skills classes for the parents.

In Chicago, thousands of homeless kids are enrolled in public schools. They don’t have a place to shower, sleep, or eat after school. For many, lunch in the school cafeteria is their only meal of the day.

In Romania, I saw the street kids first hand. The civilians call them gypsies.

The homeless world has their own culture. Restoration requires teamwork and baby steps. When I teach writers workshops through The Homeless Project program in Dallas I ask them to journal about their life and any negative past events, misted of acting out in rage, anger, or other destructive habits. Be pulled forward by your dreams, instead of pulled back by your past. Civilians think that homelessness is about economics, and most want to try to solve financial problems.

I tried to explain this to a girl who insisted to me that homelessness was about the job market. Jobs might be hard to find in some areas, but homelessness is definitely more emotional than financial. There are limiting beliefs, emotional events, tragedies, and personal issues that keep people from succeeding.

And it’s the same way for those of us with homes. When we can look forward to our dreams, instead of dwelling on the past, there’s freedom.

This year, if you feel led to help, you can reach out by giving your time, love, and inspiration. For more information on volunteering at a homeless school, visit: Positive Tomorrows Oklahoma, Open Air Ministries, or The Vogel Alcove on the web.

How do you help the homeless? What will you do this year to help those in need?

Photo courtesy of Flickr.

Tammy Kling is a life coach, advocate for the homeless, and international author of books including The Compass. Tammy is also the founder of Write it Out, an organization that helps the homeless transform by journaling goals, hopes & dreams via writers workshops, free journals and books. Tammy loves being a mom to two awesome boys, and is also an avid trail and mountain runner, and corporate writer.

Talk about foreign aid feels overhwhelming.

I’m a busy mom just trying to raise happy and healthy kids. Somtimes, I can barely extend my focus beyond the walls of my own home, let alone across an ocean.

And “mom” only covers one of my roles.

The longer list of the roles I play with their accompanying demands on my time sometimes makes me want to turn from that face on the cover of National Geographic. You know? The little girl with a perfect head barely covered in hair. A tummy distended. With those big, dark, beautiful eyes, beckoning you to not move past the newsstand or the page online.

I’ll be honest. Sometimes, I look away. Sometimes, I run away. Sometimes, I put away the compassion I feel for that child and her mother in the recesses of my mind and I hug my own children, volunteer in their classrooms, donate to local charities, and don’t beat myself up over it. And sometimes, it’s OK!

Why Now Is the Time to Care About Families in Africa

But now is not one of those sometimes. You know, those times when you feel OK patting yourself on the back for doing all you can, even though you’re doing nothing to help the world’s poorest and most desperate. Why? Because 30,000 people have just died from the famine in Africa with an estimated 750,000 more at risk of death in the next 6 months.

I would like to say that I can’t relate with the mother in Africa who, while she wants to focus on her children’s future, can only focus on this moment, wondering: “Will my child have anything to eat? Can I get him the medical care he needs? Will my family be safe to see tomorrow?”

But, the truth is that though our realities are different, our concerns are based in the same desire to raise happy and healthy children who have opportunities for growth and who will be able to be contributing members of their societies. So I ask myself the question: “If I were in dire straights—really dire straights—wouldn’t I want an outreached hand? Someone to help me get back on my own two feet and step out of the struggles I face?”

And that’s where I want to continue this candid conversation if you don’t mind.

Your Volunteer Efforts Can Help Stop the Famine in the Horn of Africa

If you are like me, you don’t feel that your involvement is helping or that focusing any amount of your busy schedule on families in Africa would be futile.

But that’s where we both would be wrong! The drop we contribute to the bucket of foreign relief is saving and improving lives.

Let’s talk pregnancy for a second. This post-partum ward in western Africa I visited, made possible in part by the CDC, helps women move their deliveries from their homes to the hospital. The mosquito nets provided there and given to them to take home, prevents against Malaria. And this is just one outreach that is making a huge difference in both increasing the infant mortality rate as well as human lives.

How are these programs made possible? By one click of a button to sign an online petition, one letter or call to your congressman, one partnership from organizations like the CDC and USAID often in partnership with non-government organizations and corporations. And, it all starts with people like us—moms who took a moment to make time in their busy schedules or carved a small amount out of their budget to take action.

Isn’t it exciting to consider that your individual effort alone is exactly what the Horn of Africa needs right now? That whatever small or large step you take yields a huge return when we look at the sum of all of those individual parts. One click to sign a petition to not cut foreign aid multiplied by 100,000 other clicks can make a big difference to our government leaders. And the story goes on.

In addition, just like we can’t undervalue our own individual contribution, we can’t underestimate how one life changed can impact generations of people. For example, it only takes $40 to educate a child for a year in Somalia. Think of the potential ripple effect of that child being educated—the opportunities she’ll have, the education she can then pass down to her children, the lives her grandchildren will lead, and the change for their country they can impact.

I met with and heard from government officials in Washington D.C. over the past couple of months. While lobbying, I heard questions ranging from: “Why should government invest in foreign relief?” And I heard: “What more can we do to help?”

I walked away, pondering on the fact that less than 1 percent of the nation’s budget goes to help developing nations. And while that amount seems far from enough, I felt great knowing that I not only listened to both sides of the foreign aid argument (for and against), but I also voiced my opinion to not cut foreign aid—one small thing I could do to help.

Ways Busy Moms Can Help Fight Famine Within the Walls of Their Own Homes

So, if you’re a mom—or a mom at heart—and you want to help, stop your busy life for a second (I promise it’ll wait) and do something to reach out your hand to mothers in Africa. This digital age we live in makes it easy to lift others up without leaving our own homes. Here’s how:

• Check out the awesome new FWD campaign by USAID. They offer lots of options for getting involved. Click on the FWD site to learn more.
• Become a member of ONE.org. This will help you add drops to the foreign relief bucket without spending a cent.
• Write a letter to your members of congress, encouraging the not to make budget cuts to foreign aid.
• Consider future generations. When you see the starving child on the cover of a magazine or featured in an article you’re reading online, look at the child and consider the future generations of people that will be impacted by helping her in any way, small or large, that you can.

What can busy moms do to make a difference for women and families who are struggling in Africa and other developing nations? What are you doing to make a difference?

I have had pneumonia. Twice. And both times, I thought I was going to die. I may be exaggerating a little bit, but there is something about struggling to breathe that gives you that sensation and it’s downright frightening.

Fortunately, neither of my children have had any respiratory challenges. But as a mom, I can only image if they did and the helplessness that I’d feel if I were to watch them struggle to breathe without being able to do anything for them.

But the reality for me is that even if they did, I could wrap them in a blanket and rush them to the doctor just like my husband did for me. And there, I’d hope they’d get a shot and an inhaler to make their lungs open up and their breathing get back to normal. (Yes! This is a pic from the doctor’s office right before I went back for my chest X-Ray. Embarrassing!)

Why We Need to Raise Awareness to Provide Aid for Pneumonia

But this is not the reality for all mothers around the world. The reality is that more than 1.5 million children die from pneumonia each year?

The Global Coalition against Child Pneumonia shares the fact that every 20 seconds, pneumonia kills another child. That’s 4,300 child deaths every day, and a staggering 1+ million child deaths every year from a preventable, treatable disease.

Yes! You read that right. Pneumonia is preventable. It’s treatable. It is one of the world’s most solvable problems. Yet without funding and action, it is unnecessarily taking the lives of more than a million children.

What You Can Do to Help Save Children Suffering From Pneumonia

Today is World Pneumonia Day. The Global Coaltion of Child Pneumonia has a phenomenal website with a virtual toolkit. You can help in many ways. Here’s a few ideas:

• For moms in social media: Promote via social media, including Twitter (using the hashtag #WPD2011), Facebook, Google+, your blog/website. The virtual toolkit provides twibbons for your Twitter avatars, buttons and badges for your blog, and lots of infographics and content for your blog.
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• For all moms: Write a letter to your elected officials, encouraging them to support foreign aid. Lobby. Sign petitions. Send emails to your friends or share the importance of supporting this cause to friends in your neighborhood, community, or mom groups.
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• For moms who want to take action: Host an event. The virtual toolkit provides ideas, steps, and even posters to get you started.

When I reached adulthood, I discovered that adding color to your Rice Krispy Treats wasn’t the norm and that my mom did that to make that experience special for us.

Wanting to give my kids this same thrill, we made Rice Krispy Treats in the shapes of autumn leaves, using a Wilton cookie cutter (the same one we used for this pastry). We divided the Rice Krispies and colored each section a different, bright color and ended up with an array of colorful autumn leaves both beautiful and delicious.

This is a simple and fun activity and one that your kids are sure to remember!

What is your favorite after-school snack to make with your kids? How do you make simple activities like cooking and crafts veer from the norm?

As I was looking through my board, I questioned why I always wait until December to give out neighbor gifts. Wouldn’t Thanksgiving be the perfect time to start?

So this year, we are making a few neighbor gifts in November to get into the giving spirit a bit earlier.

We identified a few families who really mean a lot to us and that we want to thank for being a part of our lives. We found this fun recipe in Family Fun Magazine and spent the afternoon baking, talking all the while about who we would deliver the treats to, why they were important to us, and why we were grateful to have them in our lives.

Making them was a whole family affair. The kids cut them out, using an awesome Wilton leaf cookie cutter I found on sale at Michael’s.

Next, they buttered the edges.

Then, they added a variety of fillings, including cut up Reese’s peanut butter cups, Nutella, and strawberry jam with cream cheese.

The end result was both delicious and an awesome way to help my kids learn about gratitude while having fun in the kitchen.

How do you help your kids get in the giving spirit? What do you do during the month of Thanksgiving to help them have an attitude of gratitude?

Since parenting does not come with a handbook, most of us leave the hospital wondering what to do next. Hundreds of parenting books vie for our attention, claiming they know best. But, what works for one child may not work for another. Advice from friends and family can be even more frustrating. At least the books don’t talk back, right?

Before I had a child, I listened to a close family member who would get so frustrated with the constant advice from her mother and mother-in-law and I remembered asking myself what the big deal was. After all, she and her husband turned out okay. This constant back and forth between this new mom and her own moms turned what should have been a beautiful time in the family to a very uncomfortable situation. When all of us got together, there was constantly an unspoken tension in the room. I resolved then and there that I would take the advice given to me with a smile and appreciation. I might not follow the advice, but I would at least consider it. This decision turned out to be the right one. Our family gatherings were peaceful and provided a loving atmosphere which is what your newborn needs to feel.

Tips to Handling Parenting Advice From Your Child’s Grandmothers

If you are in a similar situation and getting frustrated with all the advice, please allow me to offer my own:

• Remember that your Moms have already been in your shoes and they might actually know what they are talking about.
• Remind yourself that they love you and your child more than anything and are expressing that love by showing concern for you and your baby.
• When advice is offered, instead of responding with, ‘We already tried that,” which can lead to an argument, just say “Thank you. I appreciate you telling me.”
• (And this is the best one) You do not have to follow their advice. Trust your instinct and if what you are doing is working for you and your baby, that is all that matters.

When our baby was born, this ended up working beautifully for our family and I realized that our parents had some wonderful advice. The truth is, if you open the dialogue with them by telling them how much you would appreciate their feedback and also tell them how well their advice is working, you will find that the only feedback you receive is them telling you what a great job you are doing. Opening yourself up to your parents’ advice can be hard because it means admitting to yourself that you don’t have it all figured out. It is always difficult to let go of our pride, but having a loving relationship with your family and surrounding your baby in a peaceful environment is one of the best things you can do as a mother. It all goes back to the golden rule. Remember you will be a grandmother one day too. Make sure you model the relationship to your children that you hope to have with them when they become adults. When all else fails just smile and say, “Thank you.”

How do you handle unsolicited parenting feedback in a positive way? What feedback would you most like to give to new mothers?

We thought he was nervous to be in unfamiliar environments—”slow to warm” as the books proclaimed. But, he’d start commenting about how everyone was watching him. When people laughed, he was convinced they were laughing at him. Arriving late was a death curse. If he didn’t know people, that was worse. And just the anticipation alone would about give him a panic attack.

Once familiar with the environment and after forming some relationships, he’d always do fine. But get him on a stage or put him in unfamiliar territory and you’ve got one scared boy on your hands. It started affecting him, his friendships, his opportunities, and after a few years, his life. He became very unhappy. And we, as parents, were sad and scared for him.

We started allowing him to skip things like performances, wanting to keep him safe. But pretty soon, I could see his confidence waning and he was noticing his own fears and was frustrated with himself and his limited abilities to feel comfortable in certain situations.

In addition to getting professional advice, we signed him up for a karate class. We needed to give him an opportunity to excel at something outside of school and heard karate was great for helping kids learn to focus.

The first few times were horrible. He ran out of the room mid class embarrassed that he wasn’t good enough. One time, he got there late, didn’t realize his class had ended, waved goodbye to us, and then, too embarrassed to ask for help and not wanting to be noticed, walked outside and stood in the rain for 30 minutes. Finally, he went back inside and asked to use the phone and called us to come and pick him up.

But then, he starting excelling at karate. He got excited about his progress and things changed. He started practicing every day at home, he didn’t want to miss one class, he memorized the schedule, and he was disciplined and diligent in his efforts. He had a lot of natural skill and his commitment and practicing made up for any skills he lacked. We shouldn’t have been surprised then when he told us he wanted to enter the local tournament.

Imagining all the people, noise, and potential loss, we almost told him no. We could envision him running out right in the middle and getting further frustrated with his situation. But this was one of those moments where you have to focus on the real reason you are a parent—not to keep your kids from potentially failing and experiencing hurt, but to give them opportunities for growth. Going to the tournament was an opportunity he had chosen and worked for and who were we to stand in his way?

So we went. I could hardly breathe when we walked in and saw wall to wall people. Every square inch of the studio was lined with parents and excited kids in their karate uniforms. Right upon walking in the door a mom, in her nicest voice, said: “His belt isn’t done right.” Upon hearing those words, my son turned and walked right back out the door. I’m not gonna lie. I wanted to walk back in and punch her, bless her sweet little helpful soul! But, I walked outside and talked my son into going back in and getting the lay of the land and not worrying about his uniform yet. This took several minutes.

We finally walked in the back and I found an instructor who helped him with everything he needed. Some other kids, noticing he needed help, came up and offered to assist him. I wanted to cry and hug these kids. They had no idea what a difference they were making.

Then the tournament started and the anxiety set in—his and mine (and I don’t even have anxiety!). I suffered as a parent as I watched my son vacillate between not participating and participating and I prayed his time would hurry and arrive so he wouldn’t have to think about it anymore. And sure enough, it did. And that’s when the real panic in him started.

Half way into the warm up exercises, he ran off. Fortunately, I stopped him and calmed him down enough to get him to reconsider. I reminded him how hard he had practiced, how it wasn’t important to win but just to finish, and reassured him that parents were there to watch their own kids and that all eyes really weren’t on him. He started doing a bit of self talk quietly and walked back out, competed, and won first place. I started crying.

In that moment, I realized that our greatest triumphs come from our most difficult opportunities. We all have challenges we have to overcome. For some kids it may be determination. For others it may be skill. And for my son, it is anxiety.

After the tournament, I asked him what it was that helped him get back out on the mat when he had wanted to walk away. He said he just kept telling himself: “You can do this! You can do this!”

I think we all need to remind ourselves that we “can do this” every now and then!

How do you help your children not shy away from difficult challenges in their lives? What tips do you have for kids suffering from anxiety? What opportunities help kids grow in confidence?

5 Tips for Incorporating Music Learning Into Home Life

1. Play “Family Idol.” Staci Salazar, aka popular MomItForward tweeter @7onashoestring, says when they do this, they have one kid perform at a time, the others act as a judge, and the only rule is that only positive feedback can be offered. She should know how “Idol” works; she recently took a friend to “American Idol” to try out. This was their experience:
   
2. Make a big deal of their home performances by having tickets, making popcorn, putting up “red carpet” and other simple props bought at the party store, etc. @cafesmom recommends this.
3. Expose your kids to Zydeco music. It is easy enough for us to expose our children to many different types of music, and encourage them to gain their own taste (within the boundaries you set), but Zydeco is a type of uniquely American folk music that can broaden their horizons even more. It’s suggested by @cedarhillmom.
4. Check out Pandora free internet kids’ radio, recommended by @m_mduncan, to discover new bands. Also, consider using sites like Grooveshark.com (recommended by @thetattoedtype) and Playlist.com for free access to specific songs and customizable playlists.
5. Encourage them to put together a performance. If you are comfortable with it, and your kids possess enough skill and are old enough, consider letting them put together an actual performance, taping it, and putting it up on YouTube or your own blog.

What are your children’s natural talents? What ideas do you have for helping them develop their natural abilities? How can you introduce them to new opportunities that will best bring out their talents?