Home Management—Fifty years ago this month, President John F. Kennedy presented a bold challenge before a joint session of Congress: Send a man to the moon by the end of the decade. While many derided this notion as either madness or merely a political ploy, some of the brightest minds of the nation focused their efforts, and in 1969 the dream was achieved. In the same spirit as JFK’s appeal a half century ago, I am issuing a challenge to the geniuses of today to find a solution to one of the plagues in our world today, dirty laundry. More specifically, my dirty laundry. And come to think of it, it’s not just the dirty part I need help with but also the folding and putting away. In this modern world of space shuttles and supercomputers small enough to fit in the palm of your hand why are we still dealing with this?!

The only good thing I've ever found in a laundry basket

Silly putty? The Frisbee? Labradoodles? All great ideas, to be sure. But c’mon inventors of today, show us your stuff! I don’t know how it is in your house, but in mine the laundry responsibility lands on my shoulders. Perhaps if the laundry was not my responsibility I would have more time to dedicate to finding a solution to the laundry crisis. Until then I’m considering adopting the philosophy of Jack Reacher. He’s the main character in a book series by author Lee Child. Jack Reacher travels light, and part of traveling light means not carrying extra clothing. His solution? He wears them for 3-5 days and then throws them out. No fuss, no muss. A quick stop at the local thrift store or farm supply and he’s back on the road. Disposable clothing, it’s something to consider.

To be fair, I’ve recently discovered a product that is a step in the right direction. Hanes incorporates color-coded toes in their socks. For example, size 8 is blue, size 9 is red, and size 10 is black (or something like that, but you get the picture). The result is socks that are easier to sort. Brilliant! This is the type of forward thinking we need! Admittedly, it’s not as brilliant as Jack Reacher’s solution, but it’s a step in the right direction. One small step for mankind.

To begin our mother-son chat, I asked him what he thought my goals were as a parent and why I would ask him to clean up. He scratched his head, probably thinking the only reason I’d do it was to torture him, just like I thought my mom was trying to torture me when I was a child and she “made me” do chores. I then took that moment to explain that my goals were for him to grow up with the skills and habits he needed to be a successful adult. We discussed a variety of things that contributed to possible definitions of “successful adult,” one of which was for him to be able to clean up after himself. We discussed the benefits of him learning how to clean and why having order and being clean was important.

We also discussed service and how important it is to not only think about ourselves, but to focus on the needs of others. We talked about how cleaning was not only a way to keep order, but an act of service for those around us. I asked him how serving others may help him both now in his role as a brother, friend, and neighbor and later in life as he becomes a father and husband and what other examples of service he could think of. He wasn’t sure and that made me think that we need to expose him to more opportunities so he has more experiences to draw on should I ask him that question in the future.

As a parent, finding regular opportunities to raise responsible children can require patience. The time I spend “encouraging” my kids to do their chores increases the amount of time it takes to clean the house. But, having that patience helps me not only to have a clean house (shout out to the Electrolux Nimble, the world’s best vacuum!), but also to raise responsible and service-oriented children.

Aside from cleaning and helping others in our own family through chores or other acts of service, finding opportunities to raise giving children can be challenging. I have found lots of ideas online. This list is a great way to get started. And here are some tips for helping young children to be more charitable. And, I especially love this list, which identifies 10 tips for raising given children of all ages.

But the best opportunities, it seems, are those that present themselves to us as we go throughout our daily lives. Here’s one that happened just this past week…

Our friend Jeanne is in an assisted living facility and she needed to go to the store. Unable to drive or walk without assistance, we decided to make the outing a family activity. We loaded up her wheelchair and took her to Wal-Mart, where thankfully, they had a Senior Citizen Parking spot with her name all over it. We took turns pushing her through the store, walking up and down the aisles, gathering the things she needed. After an hour, with both her and our shopping done, we took her back to her new home, walked her up to her room, helped her put her things away, and returned home.

On our drive home, we talked to our kids about Jeanne, sharing her limited abilities at this point in her life. We helped them see that something as fun and simple to them as pushing her wheelchair was a huge act of service and kindness to her. Their smiles in recognizing their contribution recommitted me to creating more opportunities for them to have action-oriented opportunities that teach them responsibility and service while they’re young.

 How do you model and give your children opportunities to be responsible as well as service-oriented? Tips for helping them do chores? Serve others?

My wife called earlier than expected, and I could tell she was up to something. She said to hurry home because there was something that had smooth cornering, slick contours, and plenty of power waiting for me in the garage. A description like that is likely to catch the attention of most any man, and it definitely caught mine. But I’ve been married long enough to not be fooled by such things. It wasn’t that I rushed home expecting to find a sports car, but I was curious nonetheless.

What I found when I arrived was an Electrolux Nimble upright vacuum cleaner. And I was thrilled. I had always wanted an Electrolux—not in the same way I covet a Bugatti Veyron Super Sport, mind you—and now I had one. But it’s not even that I enjoy vacuuming. My theory is that if you’re going to do something you may as well look good doing it (please, no snide remarks about my wardrobe).

The engineers at Electrolux have managed to take the very thing that used to get Elvis Presley in trouble with parents and turned it into something that parents would not only approve of but actually desire. And that thing is swivel action.

The Test Drive

You know when someone builds your expectations so much about something that it’s almost always a disappointment? This was my concern. This was kind of like when everyone told me that The Bridges of Madison County would be both the longest and worst movie I had ever seen…no, wait, it really was the longest and worst movie I had ever seen. Let’s just skip the analogy.

The Nimble has everything and performed in every way I had hoped it would. The vacuum maneuvered around furniture and children with the greatest of ease. The wand and hose allowed me to reach even the highest of stairs without hauling up the entire unit.

But the best part was that it worked. The vacuum worked hard. Piles of sand left over from last week’s trip to Arches National Park? Sucked into oblivion. Cheerios and ramen noodles left over from the sleepover with the cousins? Not even a trace. Small Legos and loose change? They didn’t stand a chance.

But wait, there’s more. You also get:

• Powerful LED headlight (for vacuuming in the dark)
• Bagless (note to wife: this does not mean it doesn’t need to be emptied!)
• 5-year warranty (better than a 4-year, and way better than a 3-year warranty)
• Sealed HEPA filter (High Efficiency Particulate Air if you’re scoring at home)
• Telescopic Integrated Wand System (Enough said)
• 3-in-1 VersaTool and Dusting Brush (Mere words cannot describe)

The Verdict

Until there’s an app that will vacuum the floor for me, the Electrolux Nimble will be put to good use. And now, you have a chance to win one.

The Giveaway

Please do the following three things to be entered for a chance to win an Electrolux Nimble (ARV: $299):

• Like the Electrolux Vacuums and Small Appliances page on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ElectroluxVacuumsandSmallAppliances
• Like the Mom It Forward Facebook page: http://facebook.com/MomItForward
• Tweet the following:   GIVEAWAY! Enter 4 chance 2 win @Electrolux Nimble Upright Vacuum Cleaner (ARV $299) from #momitforward http://bit.ly/nCVjIn

When it comes to chores, what is your favorite cleaning gadget? What product makes cleaning more enjoyable?

The Fine Print

Winners will be selected randomly through http://random.org. No purchase necessary to enter. Giveaway ends at 11:59 p.m. ET Sunday, August 28. See all terms and conditions here. This giveaway is available to U.S. residents only. Winners will be notified via email and announced in the Mom It Forward forum within 1 week of the giveaway end date. I was provided one Electrolux Nimble to review in compensation for this post. Photo courtesy of Flickr. 

On the other hand, I don’t want any of my relatives to stage an intervention on a reality-TV show because I keep losing my toddler in a pile of papers, either. I find that a reasonably neat, organized, smoothly-run home makes everyone feel more peaceful and happy. Fortunately, it is possible to strike a happy medium and say “yes” to mess while still maintaining order.

Tips for Maintaining Order

Never leave a room without making it better

This was one of my mom’s guiding principles and one that has stayed with me because it works so well. If you get in the habit of always doing something to make a room better before you leave it—whether it’s picking those throw pillows up off the floor or grabbing an empty glass to return to the kitchen—you’ll do a lot of tidying without really thinking about it and the mess won’t have as much chance to pile up and overwhelm you. In my book, The Happiest Mom: 10 Secrets To Enjoying Motherhood, I give specific ideas about small things you can do effortlessly to help your house feel cleaner and calmer.

Establish a time and place for everything

Flexible routines (not necessarily strict schedules) and “homes” for all of our possessions are the backbones of peaceful, orderly family life. If your child always knows, for example, that writing utensils are in the right-hand desk drawer (and there’s a functional sharpener there, too) you won’t have to run madly around the house trying to find a pencil so he or she can start his homework. Similarly, if clearing the table and loading the dishwasher is a customary and reliable part of your after-dinner routine, everyone in the family will get used to it and you’ll have to do less, uh, nagging. SimpleMom has a great list of free downloadable tools you can use to help you decide who does what, and when.

Streamline and simplify

When we’re busy caring for kids—and, let’s face it, shuttling them around—who has time for complicated systems? Figure out simple calendar and filing systems that work for you and support your family’s lifestyle. There are a variety of tools that can help you keep things simple: for example, since I’m often on the go with my five kids, I like how AboutOne allows me to access scanned documents and files, birthdates, health insurance info, and other important information from my laptop or smartphone wherever I happen to be.

These three tips will help you make your home more peaceful and orderly…without being a perfectionist fun-killer. And that’s a recipe for happy family life.

What are ways that help you maintain the order and peace in your house?

Meagan Francis is the mom of five kids ages toddler to teen, and author of The Happiest Mom: 10 Secrets To Enjoying Motherhood. Meagan blogs about motherhood, family life, home and more at TheHappiestMom.com, and really believes that you can use the word “happy” and “mother” in the same sentence.

AboutOne.com is an online family management system that provides ONE place to safely store and manage memories and household information, including education, health, possession, contact records and more. The system allows you to capture and organize all the information you need to apply for college, and automatically formats that information in a helpful education summary report.

I am not an expert in home management. While I could use some help being more organized, planning well-balanced meals, and teaching my kids to be more responsible around the house, I have discovered a few tips during my 14 years as a mom that have helped me stay on top of the more important things.

And tips were meant to be shared.

5 Tips to Staying on Top of House Cleaning

1. Put things away. Every time you leave a room, carry one or two things with you that belong somewhere else. Don’t just move them. Put them away.
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2. Schedule your cleaning. Make a list of cleaning tasks that you need to do daily, weekly, and monthly. And then put them on the calendar. If you need to mop the floor once a week, pick a day and stick with a schedule. Similarly, if a task needs to be repeated every day, find a time that works and keep to a schedule.
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3. Assign “zones” to family members. This is one situation where having a big family pays big. Each person has an area or two of the house that they are responsible for. That doesn’t mean that one child is stuck cleaning the play room on their own, but it does mean that each family member is accountable. Everyone must take responsibility for keeping the house clean.
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4. Reduce the clutter. Minimize what you have out in each room. Even when clutter is “organized” it still makes a room look messy. “Hide” toys in bins and on shelves, pick only your favorite photos and trinkets to display on shelves, and maximize on empty floor and wall space.
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5. Organize! Keep the tools (cleaning supplies, brooms, rags, etc) where they are used. If you regularly need to clean the upstairs bathroom mirror it makes sense to store window cleaner in the bathroom. Buy another bottle for the kitchen, or anywhere else that window cleaner is used.

What are some of your tips for keeping your house in good shape?

Lolli is a mother of five who believes that kids can do more than they lead us to believe. So she puts her kids to work cleaning and cooking as much as possible, reassuring them the whole while that they will thank her for it someday. When the kids are at school, Lolli spends her time writing on her blog, Better in Bulk, tweeting, and editing pictures from her latest photo shoots.

I love chores!  I believe that assigning age-appropriate household tasks to children is one of the best ways to teach responsibility and give young people a sense of being important to their family’s functioning and well-being.  Acknowledgement of completed chores affirms in kids’ minds that they have contributed in meaningful ways, which builds their self-esteem and motivates them to want to continue helping.  It’s a great cycle to get into and one that benefits from being consistently fed with gratitude.  Here are some different ideas for ways to thank your kids for completing their chores:

Praise

Never underestimate the power of praise in the lives of kids.   As adults, when we think “work,” we necessarily think “pay.”  For kids, praise is the very best form of payment.  Use praise liberally to thank kids for completing their chores.  Even if you feel that your child does less than you did when you were a child or “should” be helping, praise is the best way to motivate, build self-esteem, and create the kind of bond that eventually makes chore charts and reward systems unnecessary.  Be specific in telling your child what you appreciate and be sure to say it out loud—never assume your child “just knows” how you feel about their actions.

Allowance

Ahhh—the gold standard!   By elementary school, most kids know the value of a dollar and appreciate small opportunities to earn money.  A dime per chore may sound like child labor, but let’s say a child has 3-4 household responsibilities per day (e.g. making their bed, feeding a pet, setting a table, picking up toys), that they do each day of the week.  For the average kid, forty cents a day feels like an awful lot and when they have almost three dollars by the end of the week, they feel rich!  Don’t overdue it with paying for chores—a little goes a long way with kids!  Remember that while you are affirming their work through monetary reward, you want to make the more important point that you appreciate their contributions to the family.

Privileges

While most older kids love watching their piggy banks grow, the concept of money is still too abstract to motivate or gratify most pre-schoolers. Rather than offering money, let your little ones know that by completing chores (age-appropriate responsibilities include things like putting napkins on a table, pairing clean socks from the laundry basket, putting dirty clothing in a hamper, etc.) he can earn special privileges.  Extra reading time with mom or extended snuggle time with dad are among the most coveted (and least bank-breaking) privileges any child can ever receive!

Negative Reinforcement

Remember that Psychology 101 term?  Most students think of it as a bad thing, since the phrase includes the word “negative,” but really, this behavioral term has to do with encouraging behavior by taking away something bad.  In other words, a great way to reinforce your child’s compliance with a chore schedule is to allow him to watch an episode of a show he usually can’t stay up for.  Think of it as giving your child a “get out of jail free” card.  When you want to thank him for his hard work on a household task, let him know he can use the “card” to get out of something else that he doesn’t want to do.  This kind of power and choice is always exciting for kids—just make sure you are willing to let him use it when the time comes!

By Signe Whitson, a social worker and family therapist for over 10 years.  As the Chief Operating Officer and Master Trainer for the Life Space Crisis Institute, she has dedicated her work to better the life of children.  She is also the features editor for “Reclaiming Children and Youth Journal”.  To read more of her advice check out her blog on passive aggressive behavior.  This article has been brought to you by My Baby Clothes Boutique – the perfect place to find your holiday baby clothes with matching headbands or adorable baby hats.

“April, this is crazy! I don’t have time to clean my house and I have guests arriving for the holidays!”

The first recommendation I have is to take a “time-out”. Really! I want you to just think about your situation.

• When and How does your house normally get cleaned?
• What is stopping that regular schedule from happening?
• Where are some opportunities for adjustment?

Let’s take a look at some ideas

The Holiday Chore List:

Partner with a friend or neighbor

• Both of you clean your house, then both of you clean her house
• Bulk shop, one of you does the errand while the other is ready, waiting at home for the delivery {then share the groceries and the bill}

Reach out to Teenagers

• Have them run your errands for you
• Or pay them to do some of the more labor intensive chores
• Hire them to entertain toddlers while you accomplish your task list

Cut back on commitments

• Yes, you heard me.
• Just say NO to one thing a weekend and spend the time keeping house.
• Or, consider one evening a week the I’m home night and spend it cranking up the tunes while you mop those floors!

Break up the “to-do” list

• Make a “task list” based on room
  • Guest Bedroom: laundry, change sheets, dust, decorate
• Tackle rooms instead of areas of labor
  • complete the Guest Bedroom before moving on to the Living Room
• Assign tasks to family members
  • Susie: dust, take out recycle, put out fresh towels
  • Johnny: empty all garbage cans, vacuum, sort laundry

Remember, a clean house is only part of the equation. Holidays are meant for spending time with loved ones, celebrating life and relaxing!

What ideas will you be trying this holiday season to keep your home clean?

April is a Mental Clutter Expert | Mom of 2 boys | Wife to 1 Fireman | Horrible Cook | Loyal Friend | National Public Speaker who gives you permission to be imperfect

Sometimes it is easier to have an “I’ll just do it myself” mindset, but all that does is add to your work load in the long run while robbing your kids of the opportunity they have to learn to do chores while in their youth.

So how do you figure out what your pipsqueaks can do?

I’m so glad you asked! {wink-wink}

As an organization coach, one rule of thumb I teach my clients is to ask themselves: “What can I delegate?”

Household Tasks Parents Can Delegate That Teach Children How to Do Chores

The lists below identify age-appropriate tasks you can assign to your children to help them learn to do chores from a young age.

Toddlers

School-Aged Children

Middle Schoolers

High Schooler

I’m sure many of you read through that list & either felt overwhelmed by the things you just remembered you need to do. The key? Delegate? And, don’t underestimate what your children can do, especially those ages four and under.

The thing is… If you start showing your children how to do chores, they begin learning life lessons right then. These life lessons will help them understand what they’ll need to take care of as an adult.

If you show your child how to do something and they seem energetic about it, step back and observe how they make it their own. If, on the other hand, you show them something and you’re just not comfortable they’re ready, keep working with them, do not give up on the first try! They need the practice of the skill as much as you need them to be able to help out in years to come.

Check out this Age Appropriate Chore Chart for a more formal way to assign chores.

Happy chore assigning!

I’m not above attributing my poor judgments to others, but in this case, I claim separation and distinction from a friend who is a perfectionist when it comes to her home. She refuses to let her elementary-school-aged children help out with household responsibilities.

I often tell her she is crazy—in a nice way.  But since I can’t see things her way and she can’t see them from mine, how about if you tell us if we’re both nuts or if you tend more towards one of our philosophies (not that you won’t get a biased picture of mine here…)

Her side of the story (told in my words) is pretty cut and dry.  She likes things the way she likes them and would prefer to do all of the housework herself rather than have her children do things “incorrectly.”

“But what about passing on all that you know about making perfect beds and setting a beautiful table?” I protest.

“They can learn that from watching me,” she reassures.

“Doesn’t your daughter ever ask to pick out her own school clothing?” I wonder.

“She used to ask, but now she just knows that I lay all of the clothes out at the beginning of the week and that’s what she wears,” she replies with pride.

“Don’t you ever get tired of doing everything for all three of your kids?”  I ask, exhausted just thinking about it.

“It is a lot, but it makes me more tired to think about undoing their mistakes.  When I do it myself, I know it will be done the way I want it.  It’s a lot easier now that I don’t let them have play dates here anymore—that used to be a real mess for me to handle,” she says, finally tiring of my queries.

So, what do you think?

I’ll tell you my take on my friend-with-the-immaculate-home.  In a word—crazy!  In two words—control freak!  In more compassionate terms—she is meeting her own needs for control at the expense of teaching her children valuable lessons in responsibility, choice, and contributing to the household.

So here’s my side of the story; I actually feel a little ping of embarrassment whenever my kids see me scrubbing toilets or mopping floors.  I do want them to know that I work hard to keep a clean house for our family, yet I worry that they’ll think that cleaning is what “moms do.” When they look back on me in 20 years, I would prefer their memories to be of a mom who joyfully played with them or at least one who involved herself in intellectual pursuits. Visions of me knee-deep in cleansers and laundry would be such a waste!

Likewise, when I don’t let them help, I feel guilty. I know that kids who routinely help out around the house benefit from improved self-esteem and greater personal responsibility. I also know that kids who experience the drag of cleaning up after themselves are kids who tend to make fewer large messes.

Most of all, I am holding out hope that when my kids are teens, they will feel comfortable inviting their friends to our house. My own controlling tendencies mean that I want to know who my kids’ friends are and where they are hanging out, so I want to lay the groundwork now for a home that is inviting to young people. When my friend tells me that she doesn’t allow play dates at her home due to the mess, I worry she’s in for a much bigger clean-up job down the road.

So, what do you think? Where do you fall on the Let Them Help vs. Do It Yourself continuum? Do you let your kids help around the house even if it sometimes means more work for you? Do you teach them a “right” way to do things or can you accept their method as “good enough?” Do your kids feel good about themselves when they are given household responsibilities or are they relieved that you take on the domestic chores yourself?

Prize

Three lucky winners will receive one of the following. (See entry requirements below.)

• Grand prize: Dyson DC 31 (handheld)
• 1st place: Dyson DC 24 (upright)
• 2nd place: Dyson DC 23 (canister)

Entry Requirements

To enter for a chance to win, you are required to do four things (make sure you leave a separate comment for each of your entries).
Note: Entries that do not follow all of these requirements will not be considered.

1. Become a fan of the Mom It Forward Facebook page.
2. Join Mom It Forward Google Friend Connect (see right sidebar).
3. Follow @momitforward on Twitter.
4. Post these messages on Facebook and/or on Twitter and leave comments here, linking to your messages:

Check out these housework/cleaning nightmares & share your own: http://facebook.com/momitforward PLS RT

GIVEAWAY! Enter 4 a chance 2 win a #dyson vacuum cleaner (3 winners) http://bit.ly/7cqtk Ends Sunday! PLS RT

Extra Entries

You can earn up to five extra entries for this week’s giveaway. Leave an additional comment for each.

1. Share your best or worst housework experience on the Mom It Forward Facebook fan page.
2. Read the Summer of Service post this week and either share how you completed the challenge or leave one cleaning or organizing tip.
3. Nominate a mom to be featured in the “inspiring moms” section of the Mom It Forward blog.
4. Join the Mom It Forward Facebook group.
5. Post the “Mom Is a Verb” button on your blog. (See right-hand sidebar for button with code.)

The Fine Print

No purchase necessary to enter. Winners will be selected randomly through http://random.org. Dyson and Mom It Forward employees are ineligible to participate. All entries received after Sunday, September 6 at midnight PDT will not be considered. Entries that do not follow all of the entry requirements will not be considered. Winners will be notified and will have 24 hours to confirm receipt of the e-mail. If they do not reply within 24 hours, another winner will be selected. Open to participants in the US and Canada 18 years and older.