To begin our mother-son chat, I asked him what he thought my goals were as a parent and why I would ask him to clean up. He scratched his head, probably thinking the only reason I’d do it was to torture him, just like I thought my mom was trying to torture me when I was a child and she “made me” do chores. I then took that moment to explain that my goals were for him to grow up with the skills and habits he needed to be a successful adult. We discussed a variety of things that contributed to possible definitions of “successful adult,” one of which was for him to be able to clean up after himself. We discussed the benefits of him learning how to clean and why having order and being clean was important.

We also discussed service and how important it is to not only think about ourselves, but to focus on the needs of others. We talked about how cleaning was not only a way to keep order, but an act of service for those around us. I asked him how serving others may help him both now in his role as a brother, friend, and neighbor and later in life as he becomes a father and husband and what other examples of service he could think of. He wasn’t sure and that made me think that we need to expose him to more opportunities so he has more experiences to draw on should I ask him that question in the future.

As a parent, finding regular opportunities to raise responsible children can require patience. The time I spend “encouraging” my kids to do their chores increases the amount of time it takes to clean the house. But, having that patience helps me not only to have a clean house (shout out to the Electrolux Nimble, the world’s best vacuum!), but also to raise responsible and service-oriented children.

Aside from cleaning and helping others in our own family through chores or other acts of service, finding opportunities to raise giving children can be challenging. I have found lots of ideas online. This list is a great way to get started. And here are some tips for helping young children to be more charitable. And, I especially love this list, which identifies 10 tips for raising given children of all ages.

But the best opportunities, it seems, are those that present themselves to us as we go throughout our daily lives. Here’s one that happened just this past week…

Our friend Jeanne is in an assisted living facility and she needed to go to the store. Unable to drive or walk without assistance, we decided to make the outing a family activity. We loaded up her wheelchair and took her to Wal-Mart, where thankfully, they had a Senior Citizen Parking spot with her name all over it. We took turns pushing her through the store, walking up and down the aisles, gathering the things she needed. After an hour, with both her and our shopping done, we took her back to her new home, walked her up to her room, helped her put her things away, and returned home.

On our drive home, we talked to our kids about Jeanne, sharing her limited abilities at this point in her life. We helped them see that something as fun and simple to them as pushing her wheelchair was a huge act of service and kindness to her. Their smiles in recognizing their contribution recommitted me to creating more opportunities for them to have action-oriented opportunities that teach them responsibility and service while they’re young.

 How do you model and give your children opportunities to be responsible as well as service-oriented? Tips for helping them do chores? Serve others?

Choosing stress-relieving actvities—those that help calm you down, give you time to think, help you gain perspective, get your endorphins up, and get your creative juices flowing—can actually increase your productivity.

10 Stress-Relieving Hobbies That Can Increase Your Productivity

Check out these 10 ideas for relieving stress and focusing on what matters most:

1. Clean. Having an organized house and office in and of itself can be calming. But, doing the actual cleaning can be a healthy distraction as well as boost your endorphins.

2. Cook. Personally, I like the creativity and the stress-relieving process of cooking. I love to make up recipes, combining different ingredients for awesome results. And my favorite? I love to chop vegetables. I find something very stress relieving about it. Veggie trays are my favorite to make!

3. Exercise. Working out has several benefits. I love the natural high I get as well as spending an hour listening to upbeat music.

4. Play calming music. Whether you put on a CD or play a musical instrument, making time to play some softer songs has a calming effect on any environment.

5. Spend time by yourself or with loved ones. I don’t know anything more welcoming than being around people who love you precisely because of who you are.

6. Travel. Exploring foreign places, even within your own city or state, can be exciting, fun, and at the same time, stress relieving.

7. Write. Writing comes in so many forms: blogging, journaling, scrapbooking, creative writing, writing a book, emailing, texting, writing thank you cards by hand, and more. For me, journaling helps me get perspective and make more well thought out decisions.

8. Spend time in nature. My happy spot is a local flower garden called Thanksgiving Point. I can be having the toughest day in the world and have it all wash away after a couple of hours in that place.

9. Get some sun. If I’m too busy, don’t have a lot of time, but need to lose the stress and a boost in productivity, I will often go lay on the trampoline and soak up the sun. Even 15 minutes can make all the difference in my day!

10. Ponder. Focusing on areas other than those that bring stress into your life is a quick way to reduce stress. Activities that allow you to ponder can include prayer, mediation, yoga, and others. Make time for this every day and watch your productivity increase.

Aside from adding stress reducing hobbies, one of the most important things you can do to relieve stress in your life and to be more productive is to remove stress-increasing relationships and activities when possible.

What are your favorite hobbies and activities that help you reduce stress? How does making time for yourself help you to be more productive?

Photo courtesy of  Flickr.

My wife called earlier than expected, and I could tell she was up to something. She said to hurry home because there was something that had smooth cornering, slick contours, and plenty of power waiting for me in the garage. A description like that is likely to catch the attention of most any man, and it definitely caught mine. But I’ve been married long enough to not be fooled by such things. It wasn’t that I rushed home expecting to find a sports car, but I was curious nonetheless.

What I found when I arrived was an Electrolux Nimble upright vacuum cleaner. And I was thrilled. I had always wanted an Electrolux—not in the same way I covet a Bugatti Veyron Super Sport, mind you—and now I had one. But it’s not even that I enjoy vacuuming. My theory is that if you’re going to do something you may as well look good doing it (please, no snide remarks about my wardrobe).

The engineers at Electrolux have managed to take the very thing that used to get Elvis Presley in trouble with parents and turned it into something that parents would not only approve of but actually desire. And that thing is swivel action.

The Test Drive

You know when someone builds your expectations so much about something that it’s almost always a disappointment? This was my concern. This was kind of like when everyone told me that The Bridges of Madison County would be both the longest and worst movie I had ever seen…no, wait, it really was the longest and worst movie I had ever seen. Let’s just skip the analogy.

The Nimble has everything and performed in every way I had hoped it would. The vacuum maneuvered around furniture and children with the greatest of ease. The wand and hose allowed me to reach even the highest of stairs without hauling up the entire unit.

But the best part was that it worked. The vacuum worked hard. Piles of sand left over from last week’s trip to Arches National Park? Sucked into oblivion. Cheerios and ramen noodles left over from the sleepover with the cousins? Not even a trace. Small Legos and loose change? They didn’t stand a chance.

But wait, there’s more. You also get:

• Powerful LED headlight (for vacuuming in the dark)
• Bagless (note to wife: this does not mean it doesn’t need to be emptied!)
• 5-year warranty (better than a 4-year, and way better than a 3-year warranty)
• Sealed HEPA filter (High Efficiency Particulate Air if you’re scoring at home)
• Telescopic Integrated Wand System (Enough said)
• 3-in-1 VersaTool and Dusting Brush (Mere words cannot describe)

The Verdict

Until there’s an app that will vacuum the floor for me, the Electrolux Nimble will be put to good use. And now, you have a chance to win one.

The Giveaway

Please do the following three things to be entered for a chance to win an Electrolux Nimble (ARV: $299):

• Like the Electrolux Vacuums and Small Appliances page on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ElectroluxVacuumsandSmallAppliances
• Like the Mom It Forward Facebook page: http://facebook.com/MomItForward
• Tweet the following:   GIVEAWAY! Enter 4 chance 2 win @Electrolux Nimble Upright Vacuum Cleaner (ARV $299) from #momitforward http://bit.ly/nCVjIn

When it comes to chores, what is your favorite cleaning gadget? What product makes cleaning more enjoyable?

The Fine Print

Winners will be selected randomly through http://random.org. No purchase necessary to enter. Giveaway ends at 11:59 p.m. ET Sunday, August 28. See all terms and conditions here. This giveaway is available to U.S. residents only. Winners will be notified via email and announced in the Mom It Forward forum within 1 week of the giveaway end date. I was provided one Electrolux Nimble to review in compensation for this post. Photo courtesy of Flickr. 

I am not an expert in home management. While I could use some help being more organized, planning well-balanced meals, and teaching my kids to be more responsible around the house, I have discovered a few tips during my 14 years as a mom that have helped me stay on top of the more important things.

And tips were meant to be shared.

5 Tips to Staying on Top of House Cleaning

1. Put things away. Every time you leave a room, carry one or two things with you that belong somewhere else. Don’t just move them. Put them away.
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2. Schedule your cleaning. Make a list of cleaning tasks that you need to do daily, weekly, and monthly. And then put them on the calendar. If you need to mop the floor once a week, pick a day and stick with a schedule. Similarly, if a task needs to be repeated every day, find a time that works and keep to a schedule.
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3. Assign “zones” to family members. This is one situation where having a big family pays big. Each person has an area or two of the house that they are responsible for. That doesn’t mean that one child is stuck cleaning the play room on their own, but it does mean that each family member is accountable. Everyone must take responsibility for keeping the house clean.
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4. Reduce the clutter. Minimize what you have out in each room. Even when clutter is “organized” it still makes a room look messy. “Hide” toys in bins and on shelves, pick only your favorite photos and trinkets to display on shelves, and maximize on empty floor and wall space.
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5. Organize! Keep the tools (cleaning supplies, brooms, rags, etc) where they are used. If you regularly need to clean the upstairs bathroom mirror it makes sense to store window cleaner in the bathroom. Buy another bottle for the kitchen, or anywhere else that window cleaner is used.

What are some of your tips for keeping your house in good shape?

Lolli is a mother of five who believes that kids can do more than they lead us to believe. So she puts her kids to work cleaning and cooking as much as possible, reassuring them the whole while that they will thank her for it someday. When the kids are at school, Lolli spends her time writing on her blog, Better in Bulk, tweeting, and editing pictures from her latest photo shoots.

With so many products out in the market today, it’s hard to keep straight what you’re supposed to use on wood, granite, marble and leather surfaces. What’s best to use when polishing wood? Can you use the same product to clean granite and marble surfaces? Are there certain products that should never be used on leather?

Party Topic

Join Pledge and our panel of experts as we discuss how traditions for holiday preparations have changed in your house and how Pledge® can help. The party will be held on Tuesday, November 30 from 9-11 ET (8CT, 7MT, 6PT). Click here to see details about the Pledge® To Love Your Kitchen Contest and enter for a chance to win.

Party Details

• What: Girls’ Night Out (#gno) Twitter party (Click here to learn about #gno!)
• When: Tuesday, November 30 from 9-11 p.m. EST (8CT, 7 MT, & 6 PT)
• Where: Party with us on our very own Custom Tweetgrid! (Use hashtags #gno and #Pledgeyellowcan)
• Topic: How traditions for holiday preparations have changed in your house and how Pledge® can help
• Who: Brand Panelists: @megmeldrum @skpagel @curlygirl3, Community Panelists: @todaysmama @DineandDish @TipJunkie @mommyniri @goodLifeEats @xiaolinmama @daniellesmithtv @crafteNVy @TCreativeBlogs, Moderator(s): @jylmomIF @Dadventurous @troypattee and @MomItForward
• Party Favors: Click here to see details about the Pledge® To Love Your Kitchen Contest and enter for a chance to win.
• RSVP: Use Mr. Linky below (enter the twitter URL and your twitter ID (e.g., http://twitter.com/jylmomIF).

RT @MomItForward – Join #Pledgeyellowcan #gno Twitter party Tue 11/30 (9-11pm ET) on holiday traditions/cleaning http://bit.ly/dUDkjz PLS RT

Note: Mom It Forward accepts paid sponsorships for most #gno Twitter parties. During the parties, brand sponsors provide tips, techniques, expert advice, and information on party topics. Mom It Forward is grateful for the giveaway prizes, coupons, and discounts that sponsors also provide to the Mom It Forward community in conjunction with #gno Twitter parties.

The Prizes

This week’s giveaway is all about using natural laundry and cleaning products that are safe for the home, your health and the environment. Seventh Generation’s prize pack includes:

• Free & Clean Starter Kit:
• Disinfecting Multi-Surface
• Disinfecting Bathroom
• Disinfecting Wipes – 35 ct.
• Laundry Detergent – F&C 32 oz
• Liquid Fabric Softener – F&C 40 0z
• Dish Liquid – F&C
• All-Purpose
• Auto-Dish Pacs – F&C
• Glass
• Natural Paper Towel
• Seventh Generation Recycled Bag

Entry Requirements

For a chance to enter and win, please complete the following requirements and leave a separate comment for each on this post, including links to your original tweets.

1. Follow @SeventhGen on Twitter.
2. Visit the website, check out the product line, and leave a comment on Mom It Forward sharing which product you’d most like to have.
3. Tweet the following:

• Join the @SeventhGen #gno Twitter party Mon 10/25 (9-11 pm ET) & chat about healthy homes http://bit.ly/98uALH PLS RT

• GIVEAWAY! Enter 4 chance 2 win Seventh Generation Prizes for a healthy home http://bit.ly/c5OLhY #gno #SeventhGen PLS RT

Optional Entries

The following extra entry is completely optional and will earn you one extra entry for this giveaway. Leave a separate comment on this post for the completed entry.

Like the Seventh Generation page on Facebook

Terms and Conditions

Winners will be selected randomly through http://random.org. No purchase necessary to enter. Giveaway ends at midnight ET Tuesday, October 26. See all terms and conditions here.

Since we have to get around to these chores sooner or later, why not use products that are safe for you and your family as well as the environment? Using laundry products that are tough on stains can also be tough on the environment and your well-being. The amazing folks at Seventh Generation have created countless laundry and cleaning products that  are effective and safe for the air, the surfaces, the fabrics, the pets and the people within your living home.

Party Topic

Join Seventh Generation and our panel of experts as we discuss laundry and cleaning products. The party will be held on Monday, October 25 from 9-11 ET (8CT, 7MT, 6PT). Click here to see details about Seventh Generation’s Prize Pack Giveaway and enter for a chance to win.

Party Details

• What: Girls’ Night Out (#gno) Twitter party (Click here to learn about #gno!)
• When: Monday, October 25 from 9-11 p.m. EST (8CT, 7 MT, & 6 PT)
• Where: Party with us on our very own Custom Tweetgrid! (Use hashtags #gno and #SeventhGen.)
• Topic: Healthy Homes and Green Laundry
• Who: Brand Panelist: Cara Bondi, Sr. Research Chemist, @SeventhGen, Community Panelists: @myfourmonkeys @greenmom @CourtneyDetroit @WildOrchids09 @LadyofPC @purenaturaldiva, Moderator(s): @jylmomIF @Dadventurous @troypattee and @MomItForward
• Party Favors: Click here to enter for a chance to win Seventh Generation’s Prize Pack.
• RSVP: Use Mr. Linky below (enter the twitter URL and your twitter ID (e.g., http://twitter.com/jylmomIF).

RT @momitforward Join @SeventhGen #gno Twitter party 10/25–9-11 ET 2 chat HEALTHY HOMES AND GREEN LAUNDRY http://bit.ly/98uALH PLS RT

Note: Mom It Forward accepts paid sponsorships for most #gno Twitter parties. During the parties, brand sponsors provide tips, techniques, expert advice, and information on party topics. Mom It Forward is grateful for the giveaway prizes, coupons, and discounts that sponsors also provide to the Mom It Forward community in conjunction with #gno Twitter parties.

Sometimes it is easier to have an “I’ll just do it myself” mindset, but all that does is add to your work load in the long run while robbing your kids of the opportunity they have to learn to do chores while in their youth.

So how do you figure out what your pipsqueaks can do?

I’m so glad you asked! {wink-wink}

As an organization coach, one rule of thumb I teach my clients is to ask themselves: “What can I delegate?”

Household Tasks Parents Can Delegate That Teach Children How to Do Chores

The lists below identify age-appropriate tasks you can assign to your children to help them learn to do chores from a young age.

Toddlers

School-Aged Children

Middle Schoolers

High Schooler

I’m sure many of you read through that list & either felt overwhelmed by the things you just remembered you need to do. The key? Delegate? And, don’t underestimate what your children can do, especially those ages four and under.

The thing is… If you start showing your children how to do chores, they begin learning life lessons right then. These life lessons will help them understand what they’ll need to take care of as an adult.

If you show your child how to do something and they seem energetic about it, step back and observe how they make it their own. If, on the other hand, you show them something and you’re just not comfortable they’re ready, keep working with them, do not give up on the first try! They need the practice of the skill as much as you need them to be able to help out in years to come.

Check out this Age Appropriate Chore Chart for a more formal way to assign chores.

Happy chore assigning!

I’m not above attributing my poor judgments to others, but in this case, I claim separation and distinction from a friend who is a perfectionist when it comes to her home. She refuses to let her elementary-school-aged children help out with household responsibilities.

I often tell her she is crazy—in a nice way.  But since I can’t see things her way and she can’t see them from mine, how about if you tell us if we’re both nuts or if you tend more towards one of our philosophies (not that you won’t get a biased picture of mine here…)

Her side of the story (told in my words) is pretty cut and dry.  She likes things the way she likes them and would prefer to do all of the housework herself rather than have her children do things “incorrectly.”

“But what about passing on all that you know about making perfect beds and setting a beautiful table?” I protest.

“They can learn that from watching me,” she reassures.

“Doesn’t your daughter ever ask to pick out her own school clothing?” I wonder.

“She used to ask, but now she just knows that I lay all of the clothes out at the beginning of the week and that’s what she wears,” she replies with pride.

“Don’t you ever get tired of doing everything for all three of your kids?”  I ask, exhausted just thinking about it.

“It is a lot, but it makes me more tired to think about undoing their mistakes.  When I do it myself, I know it will be done the way I want it.  It’s a lot easier now that I don’t let them have play dates here anymore—that used to be a real mess for me to handle,” she says, finally tiring of my queries.

So, what do you think?

I’ll tell you my take on my friend-with-the-immaculate-home.  In a word—crazy!  In two words—control freak!  In more compassionate terms—she is meeting her own needs for control at the expense of teaching her children valuable lessons in responsibility, choice, and contributing to the household.

So here’s my side of the story; I actually feel a little ping of embarrassment whenever my kids see me scrubbing toilets or mopping floors.  I do want them to know that I work hard to keep a clean house for our family, yet I worry that they’ll think that cleaning is what “moms do.” When they look back on me in 20 years, I would prefer their memories to be of a mom who joyfully played with them or at least one who involved herself in intellectual pursuits. Visions of me knee-deep in cleansers and laundry would be such a waste!

Likewise, when I don’t let them help, I feel guilty. I know that kids who routinely help out around the house benefit from improved self-esteem and greater personal responsibility. I also know that kids who experience the drag of cleaning up after themselves are kids who tend to make fewer large messes.

Most of all, I am holding out hope that when my kids are teens, they will feel comfortable inviting their friends to our house. My own controlling tendencies mean that I want to know who my kids’ friends are and where they are hanging out, so I want to lay the groundwork now for a home that is inviting to young people. When my friend tells me that she doesn’t allow play dates at her home due to the mess, I worry she’s in for a much bigger clean-up job down the road.

So, what do you think? Where do you fall on the Let Them Help vs. Do It Yourself continuum? Do you let your kids help around the house even if it sometimes means more work for you? Do you teach them a “right” way to do things or can you accept their method as “good enough?” Do your kids feel good about themselves when they are given household responsibilities or are they relieved that you take on the domestic chores yourself?

Now that the kids are back in school, cleaning and organizing is just where my focus needs to be for a while. So, it’s a good thing Dyson is sponsoring the #gno Twitter party this week to help me get a little more motivated for fall cleaning.

Whether you love to clean or avoid it like the plague like I do, please come and share the good, the bad, or the ugly on housework, cleaning, and organizing with your favorite #gno gal pals this week. And, don’t forget to enter to win one of three Dyson vacuum cleaners.

What: Dyson is sponsoring this week’s #gno Twitter party (Click here to learn about #gno!)

When: Tuesday, September 1, 9-11 p.m. EST

Where: Join us as we party using this custom Tweetgrid. (Use hashtag #gno.)

Topic: Cleaning and organizing tips & tricks

Who: @aordinarylife from An Ordinary Life, @createdbymom from Created By Mom, @mommygoggles from Mommy Goggles, @mommymandy from Mommy Mandy, @mychaos from My Organized Chaos, @organizersandy from Organize With Sandy, @troypattee

Party Favors: Click here to check out this week’s giveaway sponsored by Dyson.

RSVP: Please leave your Twitter ID in the comments to follow and be followed (on Twitter, of course!) by other #gno gals. The best format is as follows: http://twitter.com/jylmomIF.