My mom, my sisters, and I at the Evo Conference.

Characteristics of a Friend

So much of friendship for me comes down to values. I love Wikipedia’s definition of friendship:

The value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:

• Desire what is best for the other
• Sympathy and empathy
• Honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one’s counterpart
• Mutual understanding and compassion
• Trust in one another; ability to go to each other for emotional support”

Me and Rachael from TodaysMama.com at Evo Conference.

What characteristics and values are most important to you in a friend?

For me, I’d add integrity to this list as well, because while people may have these values, the most important thing is their desire and effort to live in accordance with them.

Tips to Being a Good Friend

While keeping great company helps define us, it is only one half of the friendship equation. We also need to be great company for others in return. Here’s a few ways to be a good friend:

• Uplift Your Friends
• Love Others for Who They Are
• Serve Your Friends How They Want to Be Served
• Apologize and Change

Uplift Your Friends

Relationships need to be mutually beneficial and one of the best ways for people to benefit is when they are uplifted by another individual. Actions that are often uplifting include: validating, affirming, looking out and sticking up for, taking care of, being loyal to, trusting and being honest with, and being there for others.

When I think of uplifting friends, they are those that I have on speed dial. I can call them any time—for a good laugh, to share some news, when I’m having a tough day, or when I need a pick-me-up. They are my peeps—those that get me and in essence, make me a better me!

Kami from NoBiggie.net, Allison from PetitElefant.com, Marie from MakeandTakes.com, Casey from MooshInIndy.com, and me at BlogHer'10.

Love Others for Who They Are

The lens through which we see the world and the belief systems we cling to shape most of our perspectives. As I look at the company I keep, I am increasingly amazed and in awe at the diverse personality types, skills, attributes, and talents those closest to me bring to the table. As they help me see things through their lens, it changes my outlook, adding color, beauty, and clarity to the world around me.

Trying to force others to be more like you or only choosing friends who are your same type is limiting. Adversely, choosing friendships based on values instead of personality types and learning to love people for who they are enhances your experiences.

Serve Your Friends How They Want to Be Served

Service is a great way to show love in any relationship.

Me and Amy Belgardt from MomSpark.net at Evo Conference.

I wrote a post once about how to raise giving children. In it, I promoted the concept of doing unto others as they need you to do unto them and not “as you’d like done unto you.”

I’ve had many opportunities to be the recipient of service in my life. After one surgery, I was flat on my back in bed for 6 weeks. I discovered the way in which I needed to be served when a friend came to visit. She brought Yahtzee, magazines, treats, and spent 2 hours with me chatting, playing games, and just hanging out. I was in so much pain and so happy all at the same time. I learned that when I am out for the count, the biggest gift someone can give me is time. Just be with me.

Books like the 5 Love Languages are great at helping you figure out ways in which you want to be loved and served as well as helping you notice what your friends’ needs may be. The catch is that sometimes it is tough to figure out how others want to be served. And sometimes, they don’t even know. But, paying attention or trying a variety of things to see what works best and doing those things helps you meet their needs best.

Apologize and Change

Friendships grow and change and need to be strengthened like any other relationship. The goal is to create positive experiences, be there for each other, and have the relationship be mutually beneficial. If you veer off the path of being a great friend, apologize and change. It takes a second to offer a sincere apology. It may take months to change your behavior. But it is nearly impossible to replace a fabulous friendship. The time required to apologize and change is a drop in the bucket compared to the time it took to create all the amazing memories.

Evaluate your friendships and ask yourself:

• If you are the company you keep, who are you? And, is that the person you want to be?
• If your friends are the company they keep, who are they? And, are they a better person because you are in their lives?
• What is one thing you can do this week to be a better friend?

A month later, I attended a cocktail party in Denver and when the general manager of the hotel showed our group the rooftop pool, I knew it was time.

Since that date, I’ve jumped in pools at Blog World Expo in Las Vegas and at Bloggy Boot Camp in Scottsdale.

And, how could the evo’10 Conference be complete without a group pool jumping after party following the Bush’s Beans western BBQ at the Park City Mountain Resort? It truly was the perfect ending to a fabulous weekend. Thanks to everyone who participated both in and out of the pool!

Well, this year marks the beginning of my 4th decade (on March 24 to be exact), which actually has had me pretty excited. I normally get giddy about my birthday, starting on or around January 1 each year. But, this year, I was ecstatic. Why? Because 40 is a reason to have a big party. And what’s a party without family and friends? And what’s better than spending an entire evening with your favorite people in the world, right? So bring it on!

Then I started realizing that I’d actually be 40 and while my ecstatic outlook toward my birthday didn’t change, I did start pondering my life: what I’ve accomplished; what I’m involved in now; who has helped shape it; who currently surrounds me, making it the amazing life that it is. Feeling like I should be depressed or having a mid-life crisis, I started searching for gray hair and even analyzed my new wrinkles.

All I came up with was this overwhelming feeling of gratitude for the amazing life I have and all the amazing people that are in it. How in the world did I get so fortunate?

So this post is dedicated to you! All the fabulous people I’ve met because you’re in my bloodline, because I’ve come into contact with you in real life, or because I’ve met you through this whirlwind world of social media in which I now live—you, who have helped make me “me” and have enriched my life. Here’s to another amazing decade!!!

The Grand America is a 5-Diamond hotel in the heart of downtown Salt Lake City. Every experience I’ve had there has been exquisite. The rooms? Spacious! The views? Amazing. The duet massage? Pure bliss (best massage ever, in fact). The food? Delicious (especially their cheese selection, but I’m a bit partial to cheese). Conference rooms? Awesome. The service? Impeccable.

So, adding another high quality experience to my already long list of amazing experiences there was nothing less than expected.

Afternoon tea! Have you enjoyed the tradition? I hadn’t until yesterday. Joined by Larissa from The Grand America and three blogging friends, we started with tea—Rooibus Chai for me with no less than 5 sugar cubes. What tea would you have ordered?

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Then, we had a selection of finger sandwiches and scones. My favorite? The smoked salmon with caviar. Mmmmm!  Of course, we enjoyed all this yumminess while chatting a lot about travel, learning that we all had ties in one way or another to Europe. Who knew?

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But wait! There’s more. The afternoon tea also comes with dessert. Awesome, right? Chocolate cake, cheese cake, French pastries. Sound delicious? Not for someone who doesn’t like dessert. It’s true! I don’t really like dessert, so the beautiful chocolate cake didn’t call my name at all. A travesty, right? But, The Grand America had me covered and instead, offered to bring out cheese and crackers. Three selections of gourmet cheeses to be precise with a variety of crackers and berries. I was in heaven!

After tea, we all headed to see Alice in Wonderland, which was deep and sometimes dark and illuminating all at once and left me with far too many insights and questions and feelings to capture in this post. Let it suffice to say that Tim Burton is a true visionary and Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter never disappoint. The story? Well, I hope to sit with Lewis Carroll after this life and have a long conversation. His creative mind and ability to capture meaty matters in a nonsense sort of way fascinates me. Have you seen it? What did you think?

But tea isn’t the only thing Alice in Wonderland and the Grand America hotel have in common! They both have rabbits! Alice in Wonderland with its white rabbit and his famous pocket watch and the the Grand America with its Easter Eggstravaganza complete with visits from the Easter Bunny himself. Who wouldn’t want to have springtime tea with the Easter Bunny? You won’t want to be late for this very important date! Check out the details here and if you happen to be in Salt Lake City between March 21 and April 12, hop on in and enjoy Easter at the Grand America.

Thanks to the Grand America for treating us to Afternoon Tea and Alice and Wonderland. And thanks to The Daily Blarg for providing photos.

Looking to find a stylish steal of a deal and have fun while doing it? Don’t take it from me, learn a few tips from the pros, my USFs—Allison from Petit Elefant or @petit_elefant, Carina from Jet Set or @jet_set, and Melissa from Isly or @melissapher.

Here is what I learned this past weekend while thrifting in downtown Salt Lake City, Utah!

1. Get Organized and Connected!

While the actual shopping was fun (yes! I admit it!), the whole thrifting experience would have been void without friends. Sharing your finds is half the fun, so having one person organize the event—invite people, create a schedule, e-mail information—was extremely helpful. Before the outing, I loved knowing who was going, getting pre-shopping tips, organizing carpools, and chit chatting back and forth on e-mail to generate excitement.

(From left: Allison, Marie, Emily, Carina, and Melissa)

2. Prepare an Itinerary.
Receiving a schedule of the thrifting events was awesome, because it gave us a play-by-play of the day’s activity. That way, if we had to arrive late or leave early or only had a certain amount of time we could be there, we could plan accordingly.

3. Provide Pre-Shopping Tips.

For non-thrift-shopping gals, receiving a few helpful pre-shopping tips like these made the whole experience easier:

• If you’re looking to buy furniture, measure the space in your house and bring the dimensions with you so you don’t buy a piece that is too large or small for the space.
• If you’re looking to buy clothes or shoes, wear clothes that can easily be removed and put back on.

4. Choose Vintage Stores Close in Proximity But With a Variety of Products.

When shopping with 10+ gals, especially on a snowy day, make sure to schedule your stops close together. We went to several stores within walking distance and then drove to another two also within walking distance. I loved the diverse mix of products in each of the stores. I bought a red hat in Retro Rose and a cute silk dress at The Green Ant. Other stores sported bottle collections, furniture, a vintage Jack-in-the-Box, and extensive jewelry collections.

5. Tempt the Palate.

What’s an outing without food? Starting and ending on a delicious note not only kept everyone’s tummy’s full and happy, but also provided an extra opportunity for socializing.

Choosing the eateries also played a role in both setting the tone and wrapping things up in savory style. We went foreign for breakfast with Belgian Waffles from Bruges and to Gormandise Bakery “famous for its spectacular desserts” for lunch.

6. Open Your Mind and Your Pocketbook, But Not Before Haggling.

Being a non-thrifting gal myself prior to this event, part of its success for me was simply being open minded. I didn’t think the silky number would fit and wasn’t in the mood to try things on. Peer pressure got me into the dressing room and out of the store with a cute dress perfect for me at a great price ($20 folks!). Of course, I had to be willing to pull out the pocketbook. Frugal isn’t free! But, I did learn the price is always up for negotiation—a little friendly haggling!—one thing I wouldn’t dare do at Nordie’s.

7. Capture the Event!

One of the funnest parts of the experience was taking pictures as we went from store to store. Check out the entire activity on Whrrl by clicking here!

A seasoned thrifter? New to the game? Leave a comment with your tips, questions, or advice.

Gather some treats, download and print this special Ghost Door Hanger and you are ready to go. One side lets everyone know you have been booed, the other a fun poem and instructions about how to BOO!

You might also like this unique way to BOO with a decorated plastic pumpkin. “Am I a Cat or Jack Boo Pumpkin” makes a great way to BOO your friends.

Another idea is to make a special BOO! Cone .

If you are into paper crafts a BOO! Sign is a wonderful way to share some Halloween fun!

Let the “BOOING” begin!