For me, the pattern of forming closer bonds with boys continued until I became a Mom. Now, mind you, I had great girl friends all through college—friendships that I still treasure—but until Mommyhood, most close friendships with girls still seemed to take too much effort.

The common experience of being a Mom changed everything in my friendships. Aside from my husband who is truly my best friend, the people who know and understand me best nowadays are all fellow Mamas. They are the ladies I chat with at the playground, see in our mutual states of exhaustion and un-showered-ness at pre-school drop-off, commiserate with, wind down with, and share my best (and worst, believe me!) tales of parenthood.

Two Traits of Mama-Friendships

What is it about Mama-friendships that creates such a powerful bond for women? Here are two of the things I love most about my fellow Mamas:

We Tell it Like It Is

One of the things I recall most vividly about the middle school years was that expressing anger was taboo. Though “being in a fight with so and so” in sixth grade seemed to be as in style as the collared, paisley shirts from The Limited (who’s with me here? Remember those?) no one ever dared actually tell someone in words when they were angry.This kind of honest self-expression was unacceptable—perhaps too un-ladylike. Instead, girls let their anger be known in passive aggressive ways, such as spreading rumors, excluding each other from parties, and faux whispering in the hallways.  The sugarcoated hostility of middle school “frenemies” was nothing short of cruel.

The great thing about the craziness of Mommyhood is that my friends and I are too busy with our kids to bother with indirectness at this stage of our lives.  My favorite Mamas are the ones with whom I know I can be honest and direct. I am no longer afraid of the consequences of turning down an invitation or giving my honest opinion. We all still take each others’ feelings into account, but we are no longer afraid to admit that we get angry with each other sometimes. Just as quickly as we can talk to each other about our honest feelings, we also get it off our chests and move on to the next common mis-adventure in parenting. I love that.

We Live in Glass Houses

Remember before you were a parent, and you used to hear a child screaming in a restaurant?  Your automatic thought was something like, “I would never tolerate that if I were that little girl’s mother.” Flash forward a few years, and that over-tired, over-stimulated child is yours. Your diaper bag full of tricks is all used up and you’ve already done 20 laps around the outside of the restaurant. Your child is not sick and not in pain.  She is just grumpy. All you want to do is finish the food you paid for . At your wits end, you just resign yourself to several minutes of her crying.  So much for “I would never tolerate that…”

One of the things that makes Mama-friends so great is that we’ve all been there.  And we all know how hard it is to be a parent.  We also share in common both the Earth-moving love for our children and the hair-pulling grief that sometimes comes from raising them.  I am safe with my Mama friends because we live in a shared glass-house universe. It takes a village to raise a child and it takes the support of great girl friends to survive Mommyhood.

What do you love most about having mommy friends? What are essential traits of a good friend?

Signe Whitson, LSW is married and lives with her husband and two young daughters in eastern Pennsylvania.  For more of Signe’s advice please visit http://signewhitson.com.  Signe also writes and share her experiences with My Baby Clothes dot com.  They know that every mommy wants the very best apparel for their little ones.  They work to provide the very best in baby clothes, tutus and baby headbands.

Looking to find a stylish steal of a deal and have fun while doing it? Don’t take it from me, learn a few tips from the pros, my USFs—Allison from Petit Elefant or @petit_elefant, Carina from Jet Set or @jet_set, and Melissa from Isly or @melissapher.

Here is what I learned this past weekend while thrifting in downtown Salt Lake City, Utah!

1. Get Organized and Connected!

While the actual shopping was fun (yes! I admit it!), the whole thrifting experience would have been void without friends. Sharing your finds is half the fun, so having one person organize the event—invite people, create a schedule, e-mail information—was extremely helpful. Before the outing, I loved knowing who was going, getting pre-shopping tips, organizing carpools, and chit chatting back and forth on e-mail to generate excitement.

(From left: Allison, Marie, Emily, Carina, and Melissa)

2. Prepare an Itinerary.
Receiving a schedule of the thrifting events was awesome, because it gave us a play-by-play of the day’s activity. That way, if we had to arrive late or leave early or only had a certain amount of time we could be there, we could plan accordingly.

3. Provide Pre-Shopping Tips.

For non-thrift-shopping gals, receiving a few helpful pre-shopping tips like these made the whole experience easier:

• If you’re looking to buy furniture, measure the space in your house and bring the dimensions with you so you don’t buy a piece that is too large or small for the space.
• If you’re looking to buy clothes or shoes, wear clothes that can easily be removed and put back on.

4. Choose Vintage Stores Close in Proximity But With a Variety of Products.

When shopping with 10+ gals, especially on a snowy day, make sure to schedule your stops close together. We went to several stores within walking distance and then drove to another two also within walking distance. I loved the diverse mix of products in each of the stores. I bought a red hat in Retro Rose and a cute silk dress at The Green Ant. Other stores sported bottle collections, furniture, a vintage Jack-in-the-Box, and extensive jewelry collections.

5. Tempt the Palate.

What’s an outing without food? Starting and ending on a delicious note not only kept everyone’s tummy’s full and happy, but also provided an extra opportunity for socializing.

Choosing the eateries also played a role in both setting the tone and wrapping things up in savory style. We went foreign for breakfast with Belgian Waffles from Bruges and to Gormandise Bakery “famous for its spectacular desserts” for lunch.

6. Open Your Mind and Your Pocketbook, But Not Before Haggling.

Being a non-thrifting gal myself prior to this event, part of its success for me was simply being open minded. I didn’t think the silky number would fit and wasn’t in the mood to try things on. Peer pressure got me into the dressing room and out of the store with a cute dress perfect for me at a great price ($20 folks!). Of course, I had to be willing to pull out the pocketbook. Frugal isn’t free! But, I did learn the price is always up for negotiation—a little friendly haggling!—one thing I wouldn’t dare do at Nordie’s.

7. Capture the Event!

One of the funnest parts of the experience was taking pictures as we went from store to store. Check out the entire activity on Whrrl by clicking here!

A seasoned thrifter? New to the game? Leave a comment with your tips, questions, or advice.