Mom it Forward » marriage

Becoming the Right Partner: Soul Mates

Jill Greenlaw — Sun, 24 Feb 2013 12:00:08 +0000

This week in our Becoming the Right Partner series, Dr. Matt Townsend talks about the myth of having a soul mate. Have you ever asked yourself if you have married the right person? When hard times come up in a marriage, it is easy to take out your fears and insecurities of the relationship on your partner. Matt personally doesn't believe that there is just one person for everyone. Somehow, if we buy into this idea of a soul mate, we set ourselves up for failure. Things of value take work and have to be earned. You can create a healthy, happy, and united relationship. Matt believes you can actually create a soul mate. Let's blow up this myth of soul mates. Learn how here:

Check out these Reigniting the Flame in Your Relationship videos with Matt Townsend:

Part 1: Make a Date
Part 2: Look for the Fun, Not the Familiar
Part 3: Talk and Laugh Together
Part 4: Eye-to-Eye
Part 5: Get In
Part 6: Make a Memory
Part 7: Loving Rituals

Stay tuned for more relationship videos from Matt Townsend. For more relationship and marriage resources from Matt, go to http://matttownsend.com.

What are you doing to create a closer relationship with your spouse?

For over 18 years, Matt Townsend has been energizing and involving audiences with his unique approach to building and maintaining successful personal and business relationships. Matt has the perfect mix of cutting edge research in communication and human relationships combined with the skill of a top-notch humorist. This blend ensures that audiences are entertained as well as enlightened and leave with practical information that can be immediately applied to their life.

Matt earned his bachelor’s and master’s degrees in Communication as well as a master’s degree in Human Development and recently received his doctoral degree in Human Development. He is the host of KSL News Radio’s weekly broadcast of The Matt Townsend Show heard on Saturday morning at 11:00 the daily on Sirius/XM Channel 143 BYU Radio (link to podcasts on iTunes is http://www.itunes.com/podcast?id=579007695).

More info on Matt can be found at his website at http://www.MattTownsend.com. Like on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/mattmtownsend, follow him on Twitter @DrMattTweets.

The post Becoming the Right Partner: Soul Mates appeared first on Mom it Forward.

Reigniting the Flame in Your Relationship: Loving Rituals

CariThompson — Sun, 17 Feb 2013 12:00:18 +0000

This week in our Reigniting the Flame series, Dr. Matt Townsend talks – in his totally funny way - about the importance of creating “rituals” with your spouse. Research shows that couples that have traditions and rituals to show love to one another last longer than couple who do not. Don’t worry, these rituals don’t have to be elaborate. Matt suggests ways to create little rituals you and your partner can do regularly to maintain intimacy. Check it out:

Check out our other relationship videos with Matt Townsend:

Part 1: Make a Date
Part 2: Look for the Fun, Not the Familiar
Part 3: Talk and Laugh Together
Part 4: Eye-to-Eye
Part 5: Get In
Part 6: Make a Memory

Stay tuned for more relationship videos from Matt Townsend. For more relationship and marriage resources from Matt, go to http://matttownsend.com.

What are some rituals that you and your spouse have together?

More info on Matt can be found at his website at http://www.MattTownsend.com. Like on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/mattmtownsend, follow him on Twitter @DrMattTweets.

The post Reigniting the Flame in Your Relationship: Loving Rituals appeared first on Mom it Forward.

Reigniting the Flame In Your Relationship: Make a Memory

CariThompson — Sun, 10 Feb 2013 12:00:33 +0000

This week in our Reigniting the Flame series, Dr. Matt Townsend talks – in his hilarious way - about the importance of creating new memories with your spouse. He asks you to think back to when you were dating and about how every activity you did with each other created a fun memory between the two of you. How do we make moments worth remembering now? Get tips from Matt on how to plan dates that will create great and lasting memories with your spouse. Check it out:

Check out our other relationship videos with Matt Townsend:

Part 1: Make a Date
Part 2: Look for the Fun, Not the Familiar
Part 3: Talk and Laugh Together
Part 4: Eye-to-Eye
Part 5: Get In

Stay tuned for more relationship videos from Matt Townsend. For more relationship and marriage resources from Matt, go to http://matttownsend.com.

How do you and your partner make new memories with each other?

More info on Matt can be found at his website at http://www.MattTownsend.com. Like on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/mattmtownsend, follow him on Twitter @DrMattTweets.

The post Reigniting the Flame In Your Relationship: Make a Memory appeared first on Mom it Forward.

Reigniting the Flame in Your Relationship: Get In

CariThompson — Sun, 27 Jan 2013 12:00:41 +0000

This week in our Reigniting the Flame in Your Relationship series, Dr. Matt Townsend asks the question, “Are you actually ‘in’ your marriage?” When he says this, he is asking if you are present in your relationship. This can be a challenge after a long day of work or with the kids when all you want is some me-time. So how do you get “in” your marriage? Check out these tips of Matt on how to get in the right mindset and reinvest in your relationship.

Check out our other relationship videos with Matt Townsend:
• Part 1: Make a Date
• Part 2: Look for the Fun, Not the Familiar
• Part 3: Talk and Laugh Together
• Part 4: Eye-to-Eye

Stay tuned for more relationship videos from Matt Townsend. For more relationship and marriage resources from Matt, go to http://matttownsend.com.

What do you do to be present in your relationship with your spouse?

More info on Matt can be found at his website at http://www.MattTownsend.com. Like on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/mattmtownsend, follow him on Twitter @DrMattTweets.

The post Reigniting the Flame in Your Relationship: Get In appeared first on Mom it Forward.

Reigniting the Flame: Look Eye-to-Eye

CariThompson — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 18:00:01 +0000

In part 4 of our Reigniting the Flame in Your Relationship series with Dr. Matt Townsend, we talk all about making eye contact. Looking your partner in the eyes is one of the best ways to connect with them. Matt issues a challenge to couples that he says will change their lives forever. Check out how he suggests couples increase connection and intimacy.

Check out our other relationship videos with Matt Townsend:

Part 1: Make a Date
Part 2: Look for the Fun, Not the Familiar
Part 3: Talk and Laugh Together

Stay tuned for more relationship videos from Matt Townsend. For more relationship and marriage resources from Matt, go to http://matttownsend.com.

What do you do to create a better connection with your partner?

More info on Matt can be found at his website at http://www.MattTownsend.com. Like on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/mattmtownsend, follow him on Twitter @DrMattTweets.

The post Reigniting the Flame: Look Eye-to-Eye appeared first on Mom it Forward.

Reigniting the Flame: Talk and Laugh Together

CariThompson — Sun, 13 Jan 2013 18:00:42 +0000

Take a journey back to your dating days when you and your spouse used to talk and laugh a lot. Dr. Matt Townsend says that laughter creates chemistry in your relationship. It’s time to get serious about finding the funny in your life. Check out his tips to increase conversation and laughter in your relationships and why it’s so important.

Check out our other relationship videos with Matt Townsend:

Part 1: Make a Date
Part 2: Look for the Fun, Not the Familiar

Stay tuned for more relationship videos from Matt Townsend. For more relationship and marriage resources from Matt, go to http://matttownsend.com.

What do you like to talk about with your spouse that always makes you laugh?

More info on Matt can be found at his website at http://www.MattTownsend.com. Like on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/mattmtownsend, follow him on Twitter @DrMattTweets.

The post Reigniting the Flame: Talk and Laugh Together appeared first on Mom it Forward.

Reigniting the Flame: Look for Fun, Not Familiar

CariThompson — Sun, 06 Jan 2013 18:00:41 +0000

Part 2 of our Reigniting the Flame in Your Relationship series with Dr. Matt Townsend focuses on finding the fun, not the familiar. What that means is you need to go back to the days when you were first dating and were able to make simple activities into a fun and exciting nights. Use that same approach in your dating today to create new bonds. See why Matt says the fun factor is so important in your relationship.

Check out our other relationship videos with Matt Townsend:

Part 1: Make a Date

Stay tuned for more relationship videos from Matt Townsend. For more relationship and marriage resources from Matt, go to http://matttownsend.com.

What do you do with your spouse to bump up the fun factor?

More info on Matt can be found at his website at http://www.MattTownsend.com. Like on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/mattmtownsend, follow him on Twitter @DrMattTweets.

The post Reigniting the Flame: Look for Fun, Not Familiar appeared first on Mom it Forward.

Reigniting the Flame In Your Relationship: Make a Date

CariThompson — Sun, 30 Dec 2012 18:00:56 +0000

Dr. Matt Townsend gives us the first step to reignite the flame in our relationships. It’s all about getting back to basics. Think about when you were first dating your honey when everything was perfect and magical. You were probably making time to be with each other … making dates. Check out Matt’s tips to plan a fun and successful date with your partner.

Stay tuned for more relationship videos from Matt Townsend. For more relationship and marriage resources from Matt, go to http://matttownsend.com.

What are your favorite dates to go on with your spouse?

More info on Matt can be found at his website at http://www.MattTownsend.com. Like on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/mattmtownsend, follow him on Twitter @DrMattTweets.

The post Reigniting the Flame In Your Relationship: Make a Date appeared first on Mom it Forward.

Keep Your Marriage Hot Through the Hectic Holiday Season

Jill Greenlaw — Mon, 03 Dec 2012 00:00:38 +0000

I have a vivid image of my husband sitting on the couch next to me last December, attempting to connect and convince me to head off to bed. I was hunched over, pen in hand, frantically hand-addressing a pile of 300 Christmas cards. My body ached, my hand was numb, and I was throbbing from exhaustion … but did I stop and join my wonderful husband like a rational woman?

Of course not. I said something snarky like, “Well, I’ve got to get all of these cards in the mail by tomorrow, otherwise they won’t make it on time,” to which my husband replied, “Who cares?”

“I do,” I said, a little more sharply than necessary. In my mind, I was wondering why he wasn’t more grateful and supportive since I was sending out cards to keep in touch with our entire life’s network of friends and family. Yet, he simply wanted a little more of me.

In most moms’ lives, the holidays are fun but also overwhelming and full of extra tasks and activities. We feel compelled to create amazing, movie-like memories for our children, while showering everyone with gifts and treats to show a whole year’s worth of love. While we might enjoy these things, they suck up our energy and it takes a toll.

The tasks that fall out during the crazy times include caring for ourselves and for our husbands … because our men love us no matter what, right? It’s easy to skip that workout, skimp on sleep, or leave out loving our men, while we’d rarely consider forgoing our kid’s Christmas activities or missing a party.

Actually, I don’t think our husbands understand at all. They think we’re crazy! They “need” to have their wives in every way possible—including in the bedroom—on a regular basis to feel happy and satisfied. But what mom has time to give her husband what he needs when she’s been shopping, writing, volunteering, wrapping, and partying herself to the point of being an exhausted hag? I’ve been prone to collapsing and passing out before getting my clothes off during the holiday rush.

The men in our lives get a little tired and, let’s face it, frightened of their frenzied and over-extended wives. This year, commit to a different kind of holiday season. Keep your energy expenditures in alignment with your priorities—remember to keep your spouse near the top!

6 Tips to Keep Your Marriage Hot Through the Chaos of the Holiday Season

Commit yourself to getting enough sleep to ensure that you have the energy for a libido your husband will appreciate (best present for him all around!).
Prioritize regular workouts so you will feel fit (and sexy!)—Bonus: it will keep your stress in check too!
Choose to simplify the holidays and avoid the typical over-scheduled madness, freeing up time to tackle the next item on your monster to-do list.
Plan regular dates away from the kids to click and reconnect. Do something silly, exciting, or just out of the norm. Not every date in the month of December should include a holiday party or Christmas shopping.
Enjoy a little downtime every night with your man. Chat by the Christmas tree over a hot chocolate or glass of wine, ask for a foot rub (offer a back rub), or watch a brainless sitcom and laugh together. Put everything aside and show your husband he’s always #1.
Start a new holiday tradition for just the two of you; maybe a special date you could repeat every year or a moving Christmas movie you could watch together.

Have you been keeping your marriage hot and a priority as the holiday madness revs up? I’d love to hear from you!

Erin Cox is on a mission to revolutionize motherhood into a hotter, healthier, and more joyful experience, as outlined in her new book, One Hot Mama: The Guide to Getting Your Mind and Body Back After Baby (Hay House). Her powerful messages ring true for all women – that we need to take utmost care of our physical, mental, and spiritual well-being so we have energy and joy to pursue our passions and be the partners and parents we have always aspired to be. Erin is an author, life coach, and inspirational speaker in addition to being the mother of three fabulous little ones and the wife to one hot husband. To learn more, connect with her at: www.erincox.com or watch her book trailer at www.onehotmamabook.com.

Featured image courtesy of Flickr.

The post Keep Your Marriage Hot Through the Hectic Holiday Season appeared first on Mom it Forward.

Is Your Sleeping Environment Helping or Hurting Your Marriage?

Jyl Johnson Pattee — Sun, 14 Oct 2012 23:00:01 +0000

Getting a good night's rest is critical to functioning at our best. What happens in a marriage then when one partner is a sound sleeper, but the other isn't? Or, when one partner snores or tosses and turns while the other lies awake, trying to get to sleep or worse, is awakened and can't get back to getting those important zzzzs? Two things are important: 1) Creating the right sleeping environment and 2) Choosing the right bed.

Creating the Right Sleeping Environment

Sleep is a very individual thing and yet, when we get married, we take what works for two people individually and try and merge them. This enhances some relationships and detracts from others. The key to having the former happen is to create a sleeping environment that works for both partners.

Here are tips that can help enhance your sleeping environment:

Create a sleep ritual that works for you.

If you are one of the lucky ones who fall asleep the minute your head hits the pillow, consider yourself fortunate. For the vast majority, creating habits for winding down is a necessity to facilitate falling asleep.

In my relationship, I can fall asleep quickly as long as everything is quiet in the room, but my husband needs at least an hour to get "ready" for bed. His ritual includes turning off the computer/phone and reading a book and winding down in a completely silent house. So, we go to bed at different times to ensure we both fall asleep quickly and get the best night's sleep possible. Because it is important for us to spend quality time together without the kids, we have a habit of watching our favorite show on HULU and chat about our day every night for an hour to an hour and a half before start starting our going to bed process.X

Some people find that a hot drink like herb tea or a warm bath helps them sleep better. Determine if these types of things work for you and consider adding them to your sleep ritual.

Choose the right colors for your bedroom.

How you decorate your sleeping environment plays a big role in getting a good night's sleep. You wouldn't believe how big of a difference just choosing the right color of paint can make. We chose to paint an accent wall in our room mustard yellow to set the right tone

Along the same lines of paint color, check the color of your lights. Green and blue can be energizing so steer clear of those for the bedroom and stick to red, orange, and yellow lights.

Have white noise in the background.

White noise, such as a fan, can help you block out sudden and random noises that happen in the middle of the night. Because we go to sleep at different times, having white noise is important for our sleep environment.

Choosing the Right Bed

Once your sleeping environment is set, you can move on to ensuring you have just the right bed for you and your partner. Beds impact not just your sleep, but your body and your relationship.

Get the right bed (for your body).

I didn't think investing in a bed was important until Sleep Number offered to outfit us with a package of Select Comfort products, including a bed, a Pillowology pillow, and sheets. I know. I know! Easy for me to say. I got the product for free. BUT... I think I would have slept on my used, old mattress forever to spare the expense of buying a new bed, which is sooooo ridiculous after feeling the difference after just one night on my new Sleep Number. Honestly! What have I been doing to my back all these years? And pillows make a huge difference in how your neck feels the next morning.

Whatever type of bed or pillow works for you is great. Just make sure that you invest in good products from the get go as it can make all the difference in how your body feels and performs the next day and beyond.

Get the right bed (for your sleep).

In my old bed, I tossed and turned every night. And I thought that was just me. I noticed it was happening more and more as I grew older, so I literally thought it was my age. But, and I know I sound like a commercial (I was born a human walking billboard, what can I say?), no more tossing and turning after getting the new Sleep Number. Seriously! Find the right products for you and watch how they can make a difference in your sleep.

Get the right bed (for your marriage).

I realize some people sleep while spooning. So cute for them! I need my space. Yet, I want to be beside my spouse. So, Sleep Number's split king (yep! two mattresses in one king-sized bed) is perfect for us. The sheet goes across both mattresses, making it seem the same as any other king-sized bed, but there are indeed two mattresses, making it so I don't ever feel or get woken up when Troy turns over or gets into bed or whatnot. I'm not a super light sleeper, but these things have caused a lot of restlessness for me. If you're the same, consider a split mattress.

Getting a great night's sleep is the key to productive and happier days. Choosing the right sleep environment and getting the right bed are just two ways to ensure that can happen.

For more tips on creating your own bedroom haven, visit the Sleep Number Bedroom Haven page http://www.sleepnumber.com/eng/sleepNumber/sleephaven.cfm and a get your coupon for a Free Illume Candle (while supplies last).

What are your and your spouse's sleep habits? What are your tips for having sleep enhance and not detract from your marriage?

Discloure: I was provided with a Sleep Number bed and bedding. The opinions I voiced on the differences between my new bed and my previous non-Sleep Number bed are my own.

The post Is Your Sleeping Environment Helping or Hurting Your Marriage? appeared first on Mom it Forward.