I am also trying to teach them valuable lessons they can apply the rest of their lives. My son has fallen into friendships and conflict resolutions pretty naturally. That is not to say that he doesn’t have things to work on. He is definitely a work in progress.

My daughter is a new teen and has it a bit harder. There are 13-year-old friend adjustments taking place, plus the natural changes in her body that make things quite confusing. The mix of the two can make life a bit emotional. She is a highly motivated, passionate girl, so I am always looking for ways to encourage her.

Books to Help You Parent Your Teenagers

Last year I found two fantastic books that have helped us along the way.  The first one’s for me. It is called The Five Love Languages. I learned so much about my husband, kids and everyone else in my life with this book. I also learned about myself and what I need in the way of relationships and love. This is a must read for newlyweds and anyone struggling to understand someone important in their life. Gary Chapman breaks down 5 identifiable ways that we give and like to receive love. Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. When I am frustrated with my kids’ decisions, I take a deep breath and stand back for a moment and think of their love language. What are they really trying to say with their actions? This has stopped me from making quick judgements and I react in a different way than I normally would. There is also a version for teenagers.

The second book is for teen girls who are struggling with relationships. It is an updated sequel to a best seller by Dale Carnegie written by his daughter Donna. It is called How to Win Friends and Influence People for Teen Girls. It is written in easy to understand language with great examples and things to try. I LOVE this book! It helps girls (or anyone for that matter) focus on others and the signals that often are interpreted incorrectly. It also sheds light on how to get out of your own head, begin to understand others and get what you need out of much needed relationships. Here are some of the chapter headings- The Big Secret of Dealing with People, Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Making Friends, Listen Up, and Admit Your Mistakes. This is a must read for any girl about to enter Junior High, and could be something that she refers to over and over again in her quest to maintain strong relationships.

I think the most important thing our teens should feel is value. A long time ago when my kids were little I read somewhere that “whatever you say about your kids will be.” If you are always saying, “He is so aggravating! I just don’t get him!” that is exactly what you will get. Kids know how we feel about them. It is hard not to think negatively about unwanted behaviors but we can also hope for the best and choose to see the good first. If our children feel loved and accepted, they will take our counsel so much better. They will also make better decisions and want to please us more. We have to stay positive in our approach to parenting and we will gain greater relationships with these wonderful people we are raising. We really can enjoy the teenage years. It just takes a lot of love and hard work! But, oh… is it worth it! Hang in there!

What are some resources that have helped you deal with your teenagers?

Susan lives in Boise, Idaho, and is a self-taught artist and a jack of many artsy trades. She is married to professional artist and has two great teenagers. She has her hand in a lot of pots. She in very involved in her community and church. She loves friends, family, movies, eating out, laughing, and  vacationing to warm destinations! She just started her own blog! Visit susansspinningplates.wordpress.com.

I have two teenagers at home (14 and 16) and I asked them how they could show love to others without spending a lot of money or any money at all this Valentine’s Day. I gave them three categories to think about: family, sibling, and friends. 

How Teens Can Show Love on Valentine’s Day

Here are just a few ways that tweens and teens can show love to their family, sibling(s), and friends this Valentine’s Day:

Family

• Wake up first to make breakfast for everyone else.
• Make a coupon book for mom and dad.  Ideas for the coupon book are free babysitting, taking out the trash, washing the car, making dinner, things that they do not do on a regular basis.
• Make a personalized card for everyone.

Siblings

• Dedicate the day to only words of kindness and encouragement.
• Write a letter to your sibling telling them why they are special to you.
• Surprise them with a bag of their favorite candy.

Friends

• Make homemade hearts and add a piece of candy to it.
• Make Valentine cookies and share them at lunch.
• Frame a recent picture of the friends together and give it as a gift.

What are some fun ways that you and your kids are showing love this Valentine’s season?

Photo Courtesy of Flickr.

By Robin Greene of mybabyclothes.com, where you can find the most unique baby clothes, tutus with matching baby headbands and fashionable baby hats this coming Spring.

5 Ways to Bring Your Family Together on Valentine’s Day

1. Enjoy a Valentine’s Day breakfast together. Heart-shaped pancakes with toppings like red, pink, or heart sprinkles, strawberries, powdered sugar, or whipped topping are sure to be a big hit. For the little ones, add strawberry syrup to their milk. Who knows, the older kids might enjoy it too!
2. Make Valentine’s Day cookies. Kids love to help in the kitchen! Get out the heart-shaped cookie cutter, as well as the cookie dough, sprinkles, and icing. Get the family around the kitchen counter, bar, or table and make cookies that everyone can enjoy.
3. Have a Valentine’s Day scavenger hunt. Hide hearts around the house inside and out (weather permitting) with clues to get to the next hearts leading to a Valentine’s Day surprise. Work together as a family or as teams for larger families.
4. Make homemade Valentine’s Day cards for a local nursing home or assisted living home. This family activity takes a little prep work but is definitely worth it. Call a nearby nursing home a few days in advance to get permission to hand out the cards and the number of people living there. Some homes can be rather large so you may want to visit a hall or wing. Dedicate a night or two before Valentine’s Day to make homemade cards with sweet messages inside. Deliver the cards to the nursing or assisted living home on Valentine’s Day as a family.
5. Eat out at a special restaurant (older kids might enjoy this). If a fancy meal out is not in your budget, create the atmosphere at home. Decorate with inexpensive candles from the dollar store. Place pink and red paper hearts throughout the dining area. Add candy conversations hearts as confetti on the table. You can usually find themed plates and napkins at the dollar store as well. It is possible to cook a nice meal for a fraction of the cost of eating out so choose a family favorite. After the family meal, surprise everyone with a special Valentine’s Day dessert like chocolate dipped strawberries, pineapples, and marshmallows.

What fun ways will you be spending time with your family this Valentine’s Day?

Photo courtesy of Flickr.

Robin Greene is a mom of two teenagers and a kindergarten teacher. Robin enjoys spending time as a family as she is anticipating her oldest going away to college in a few years. She enjoys participating in church activities and freelance writing for mybabyclothes.com. With Spring just around the corner make sure your little one has some beautiful baby clothes, sweet baby headbands and stylish baby hats in their wardrobe.

10 Ways To Say I Love You

Here are a few fresh ideas for showing your love this Valentine’s Day:

1.) Buy them a new coffee cup and coffee goodies such as a seasonal type of coffee, fancy syrups, and flavored biscotti. Every morning will be extra special and they can think about you with every sip. You can even take your gift giving one step further and purchase a coffee cup with a warmer for an extra special touch. Switch out the coffee goodies for tea if they aren’t into java.

2.) Make them homemade cookies instead of buying candy or sweets. No time for homemade? Buy pre-made dough at the store and bake them yourself. They will be just as tasty and enjoyable as homemade!

3.) Set up a date for a cooking class with your loved one. Better yet, try out a new recipe with your spouse at home and prepare it together. If cooking a full meal with your loved one isn’t an option, try a quick breakfast like these Saturday Morning German Pancakes.

4.) Clean the house, do laundry, and any other tedious household task that could give your loved one a boost for the day or week.

5.) Purchase a photo session gift certificate. Photos of your kids, family members, and loved ones are a timeless work of art that can be treasured for a lifetime and beyond. Many photographers offer gift certificates and seasonal specials for sessions.

6.) Buy a favorite book or magazine. Don’t know which one to buy? Get a gift card and stick it in a new pair of house shoes.

7.) Surprise your love with new pajamas. This could be added to number seven for a super Valentine’s Day gift.

8.) Have their car washed and detailed, or save a few bucks and do it yourself.

9.) Write them a love letter. With everything including books digitized now days, the handwritten letter has become more and more scarce. Taking time to pen a letter expressing your deepest love and why you are grateful for that love will send your loved one over the moon with appreciation and gratitude.

10.) Make homemade Valentine cards and/or decorations with your kids. Grab crayons, paints, pencils, and paper and let your kids create their own Valentine’s Day masterpieces for loved ones. Download a copy of this Love printable by clicking here.

 What are some creative ways you can say, “I love You”?

Tiffany is a mamma, photographer, blogger and writer. She has worked in the publishing industry and as a high school art and English teacher. She’s currently working on a Master’s degree in English in between playing Hot Wheels and craft time with her toddler son. Her blog Easie Peasie features crafts, photography tips and ideas, recipes and anything she likes, adores or finds interesting or inspiring.

With five children, my husband and I often did nothing more than run out for a quick meal and then return home. We found ourselves running out of new places to go and things to do after a few years and decided to incorporate fresh ideas into our date nights. We are still trying to maintain an atmosphere of romance and not break the bank. We have to think outside the box on this one.

5 Inexpensive Valentine Date Night Ideas

1. Stargaze – One of our favorite pastimes is lying in the grass staring at the stars. We began the ritual when we were dating and have continued by sharing the passion with our kids. Stargazing involves nothing more than a clear, starry night and a piece of quiet somewhere. We like to sneak out on the patio after the kids have gone to bed or grab an ice cream and head to our local lake. The romance is in the twinkling of the stars.
2. Geocache – Have you discovered the fun of geocaching? I read about it this past summer and our family has enjoyed the thrill ever since. Grab your date and head out on a treasure hunt. There are six within walking distance of our house and several more locally. A little bit of gas and a lot of energy can go a long way in geocaching. Discover the magic of treasure hunting together!
3. Have a Movie Night – With movie rentals as low as $1.50, sometimes the easiest way to share some quality time is to simply rent a DVD, pop some popcorn, crawl into bed, or snuggle on the couch with a good movie. Alleviating the need for a babysitter and not using any gas, this is typically the default plan when we are on a tight budget for date night.
4. Explore your City – Even with gas prices on the rise, there is still a reason to get out and explore. Watch for bargains through an online deal site for places and events nearby. We have discovered that even within our own tiny town there is still so much to do. Grab a camera and become a tourist right where you are planted.
5. See the Arts – Local theater groups and some smaller museums often have low-cost admission prices. Delve into the culture of the humanities and see the arts in your city. You never know what types of new ideas can be inspired by looking at the creativity of others.

What are some of your best inexpensive date ideas?

Staci Salazar is the blog author/owner of 7 on a Shoestring. She is a SAHM to 5 children {all boys but 4} living vicariously through the internet.  Staci writes product reviews, giveaways and everyday antics of family life as they manage their family of 7. They are living blessed on less. She can also be found on Twitter @7onashoestring.

There are several things I know for sure about relationships, simply from the commonalities of all my failed ones. The down slope to a failing relationship is our tongue. It usually always starts with something that is said even when there is no intention to hurt the other person; sometimes it just does. The next step down that slippery slope is misunderstanding.

To break it down, the innocent, yet ignorant comment has been taken out of context or misunderstood by the hearer; or the one on the receiving end. This is where all relationships usually fail. With the first person trying desperately to reach their friend not knowing the hurt they have caused; and the second former friend who has stewed far too long on the comments that they have usually taken out of context. In order to spare themselves from any future pain, they shut down and close all lines of communication due to reading too much of a “tone’ in the email, text message, or even face to face interaction. Even if forgiveness is offered, we all know the relationship may never be the same again.

If we thought it was hard for us, it is even more difficult watching your child steer these waters. I have watched my daughter fall in and out of relationships within a day or two. What do you say when they come home and tell you that their very best friend is not playing with them any more and even yelled at them in front of the whole class? I try to help my daughter remember anything that could have caused the misunderstanding. She’s also had to learn how to say “I’m Sorry” even when she feels she is in the right, but the hardest lesson she is having to learn is how to let go.

Letting go is the hardest thing about relationships. When you have done everything you can to repair what has been broken, you have to let go or live in a terrible place called, “what’s wrong with me”? It may be at first, but the best thing for our spirit is to keep the fun memories, throw out the bad ending, and thank God for bringing that person into your life. This is what I’m teaching my child. God brings certain people into our lives to teach us a lesson, or maybe we’re there to teach them something about themselves. Whatever the case, it may be for a specific period of time. It is a lesson I am still learning while I try to help my daughter navigate these waters. My hope is that learning this at seven years old will help her in the teen years when boyfriends enter the picture.

What are you teaching your children about relationships; especially those that are short term?

 Photo courtesy of flickr

Alicia Ivey, a wife, mother, daughter and friend.  She has traveled for over 25 years speaking and singing in different venues to thousands.  She hopes to at least touch a few who need some encouraging words.  Alicia is striving to raise her and teach her daughter by example, which can be very challenging at times.  During her spare time she enjoys writing encouraging words through mybabyclothes.com, where you can find unique baby clothes, beautiful tutus and stylish baby hats.

I decided to shop online and purchase an Apple iPad2 for my husband, Jim. Being older, he has always felt like a “dinosaur” when it came to computers, internet, email, facebook, etc. The user-friendly aspect of the Apple iPad2 seemed to be the perfect fit for him. With his desire to write some of his family’s history, the time seemed right to help him launch a new chapter in his own life history as well.

Just one day after Christmas, I knew I had hit the bulls-eye, so to speak. We have a very high-tech oriented family who have been a huge help in getting the recipient, product, and process together. This support system has forged new relationships with our adult kids and grand kids we haven’t heretofore developed. All are overjoyed to help their dad!

Our IT son, Brian, helped with the expert advice in purchasing just the right product, an Apple iPad2 with the perfect accessories from Zagg including a Folio Wireless Bluetooth Keyboard and Invisible Shield. He then set up all his dad’s important apps (BYUtv, Deseret News, Diabetes, etc.) for me ahead of time. He has already “skyped” his dad this morning with a cheery, “How’s it going?” David, another IT son, is totally excited that his dad can now join him in conversations via the iPad world from 350 miles away. Natalie, a daughter, got him connected today on our wireless, showed him how to use new applications, and answered all his questions.

Jim jokingly said yesterday, “I will probably be tutored by Lola,” our four year-old granddaughter. She has mastered downloading apps so well so that her parents had to set up a password to keep her from getting into the ipad without their permission.

Building relationships with family members has always been a high priority for us, but it has suddenly become easier and more meaningful with the flick of a switch. Happy New Year, Jim, 2012!

Do you have an ipad? How does technology help your family stay connected?

Photo courtesy of flickr.

Carol Ann Shepherd is a wife; mother of 6; grandma of 17; loves to cook, travel, teach, emergency preparedness, scrapbooking, sew, and anything creative. 

In our class, Michelle shared some of her favorite recipes with us. She told us how she started cooking as a young girl with her mother and now enjoys cooking for her own family. Cooking is the way that Michelle shows her family that she loves them. She believes that food brings people together in a very special way.

When you are with Michelle, you immediately feel like you are one of her closest friends. She is passionate about delicious food, feeding her family, and showing love by cooking. Michelle’s books were intended to introduce food as a love language, enhancing traditions, fortifying relationships and celebrating life.

Michelle and her daughter Abby made some of the most delicious food I have ever tasted. Some of my favorites were her Tomato and Rice Soup, Chinese Chicken Salad, and Caramel Popcorn. We ate until we were completely stuffed.

I love beautiful cookbooks. Michelle’s books are not only beautiful but the recipes are simple to make. They also share original tablescape ideas and a ready-to-use shopping list.

It was almost surreal that we were at the exact location where Michelle photographed this incredible book. Thanksgiving point has a variety of beautiful gardens and gathering places. It offers so many wonderful activities for our community, and this cooking demonstration did not disappoint.

I am in love with Michelle’s cookbooks. They are not only practical but fun to look at too. You don’t have to take my word for it. You can order “The Gathering of Friends” cookbook  right now on her website or at Thanksgiving Point and take advantage of her buy 3 get 1 free deal.  Hurry, this offer doesn’t last long.

Taking this class has changed the way I look at making dinner. I am so thankful to Michelle for inspiring me to show my love for my family through cooking. I am also excited to come back to Thanksgiving Point and attend other cooking classes and enjoy the beautiful grounds with family and friends. We are so fortunate to have such a beautiful place in our community.

What types of foods do you like to cook? How has food brought your family closer together?

Disclaimer: I was provided with a free class and a copy of the Gathering of Friend’s Cookbook Volume 4. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

the top of a mountain,

a deserted beach,

a street filled with Christmas lights,

and grandpa’s barn.

It is the definition of boy bliss.

It may not look like much from the outside.  It stands alone with gray metal sides, a tin roof and a door large enough to drive a truck through it.

It may not look like much from the inside.  It is filled with things that wouldn’t fit into the garage, tools and random garden accessories.

That is where the magical part begins.  It isn’t what is seen that is important.  It is what can be made that captivates the visitors of grandpa’s barn.

The scraps of wood laying on the floor have potential.  That potential is encouraged through careful use of imagination, nails, hammers, paintbrushes and paint.

The tools hanging on the wall are waiting.  They are waiting to be used by little hands with big ideas.

Grandpa patiently advises as to the best nail for the wood, how to cut this part off, how to hold the spray paint so it doesn’t backfire.

And when the sawdust settles, the results are like snowflakes…no two are exactly alike.

But it isn’t really about the results, although they are carried home to be displayed like trophies, it is about the process.

The process of a boy making tangible a dream with the guidance of his grandfather.

Holly’s three boys aren’t the only ones that are captivated by grandpa’s barn, grandpa is too.  Grandpa and his barn are responsible for a magnificent tree house, a set of wooden blocks and hours and hours of fun.

Holly is a mom blogger who writes June Cleaver Nirvana and is the founder/editor of She Is Dallas, a website for DFW women.

3 Tips for Reinforcing Sibling Relationships

Here are some ideas for making the best out of togetherness and strengthening sibling bonds:

1. Emphasize Cooperation over Competition. I am a firm believer that siblings learn their best lessons about conflict resolution, winning graciously, and losing gracefully from one another, but I also know quite well that creating opportunities for young people to work together toward a common goal is one of the best ways to promote strong bonds. Next time you have a long snow day ahead or weekend with no plans (now doesn’t that sound dreamy!), consider putting away the competitive board games and taking out puzzles, Lego sets, modeling clay and other materials that lend themselves to cooperative (and more imaginative!) family interactions.

2. Get Out! One of the best ways I know to stop kid bickering and promote sibling bonding is to take a breather—of fresh air, that is. Take advantage of the snowy weather to get the kids out of doors. Have them make snow angels together or build a snowman. Lend them the scarf off your neck to keep the snowman warm and encourage their creativity.  We even pull out the old baby clothes to create our little snowman family. You just can’t imagine how cute snow babies are in their little tutus and flowered snow baby headbands.   Have fun with it!  If there is enough snow on the ground where you live, you can even build their little igloo home! Outdoor play is great physical exercise, relief from winter cabin fever, and unbeatable sibling bonding.

3. Agree to Disagree. One of the biggest misunderstandings among siblings is the notion that brothers and sisters have to agree (think: DVD selections, where to go for dinner, who gets to push the elevator buttons) in order to get along. One of the best things that you can do to strengthen the sibling relationship is to teach your kids the difference between disagreeing and arguing.

If you’re feeling professorial, sit your “students” down at a table and write the words “arguing” and “disagreeing” in two separate columns, at the top of a piece of paper. Ask your kids to define each term and then engage in a little brainstorming exercise, asking them to name the different kinds of behaviors that characterize each word. This activity can be quick or extended, depending on your kids’ interest level and time, but no matter how long you spend, it is a useful and memorable way to make the important point that all people have varying preferences but that these differences need not have any bearing on how we feel about or behave towards each other. Relationships are strengthened when kids learn that it is perfectly okay to agree to disagree.