Friendships: How to Surround Yourself With Positive Relationships
My pilates teacher recently confided in me that she had to end a friendship with a mom she loved because of the way the kids interacted. "I didn't like the influence her kids were having on mine," she said.
Does that seem drastic? Not really. One of the most critical distinctions I've observed between people who live rich lives and leave great legacies is that they monitor their associations. It might be as simple as saying no to answering a toxic phone call, or it might be more complex. It might involve putting distance between your family and another because your values don't match. Our associations matter.
And it's these decisions that can impact the rest of your life. Sometimes it's a very small modification to your lifestyle and habits. And it's a lot like losing weight. I have a friend who wanted to lose 10 pounds so she cut out two things: soda and bread. Everything else in her life stayed the same. But with that slight modification she lost 10 pounds!
When it comes to legacy we often think that it's the big decisions, like choosing the right school, that carry the most impact. But it's the daily decisions we make habits we allow, media, thoughts, and people that we associate with. Parents do a great job of guarding our children. Isn't it funny how that works? But this distinction also applies to our lives when we grow up.
Our friends either add to our lives or detract from them. If your marriage was struggling it would be time to examine the people in your inner circle and stop hanging around the ones who didn't have healthy marriages. We learn best from those who have achieved what we desire. Surround yourself with what you need in the same way you do for your children.
Are there associations you need to let go of? How do you plan on moving to a healthier place by letting go of the baggage and toxic associations?
Tammy Kling is a life coach, advocate for the homeless, and international author of 29 books including The Compass. Tammy is also the founder of Write it Out, an organization that helps gang members, the homeless, and those living on the street write out their hopes & dreams via writers workshops, free journals and various other resources. She’s also the mom of two boys, an avid trail and mountain runner, blogger, and adventure travel writer.
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