Taking the Guilt Out of Guilty Pleasures

by Signe Whitson on November 15th, 2017 | 2 Comments »

Are you a mom who feels guilty when you take time for yourself? I know I do.

Day in and day out, there is just so much to do and so many other people’s needs to be met, that spending time on myself feels wasteful, selfish, lazy, even. I know that conventional wisdom says that moms who take time for themselves are ultimately better equipped to give to others and that nurturing myself will make me a better mom. Finding ways to schedule “me time,” however, proves more of a challenge.

I have found that I really can get up at 5am and be productive as a work-at-home mom. But 14 hours later,I am ready to go to bed before my four-year old. Likewise, I can make time for a quick run, but people seem to prefer that I shower afterward. There’s just not enough time for both.

Here is what I have realized: I mother, therefore I multi-task. While I can’t regularly dedicate blocks of time to myself, I can still enjoy “me time” even when others are around needing to share “me.”

For example, while shopping for children's clothes, I can luxuriate in a gourmet coffee that I didn’t have to grind and brew myself. It’ll be the best overpriced latte I’ve ever had.

Afternoon at the pool adjusting goggles, watching new moves off the diving board, and fetching kickboards, I will patiently wait for their break. During this time, I will lose myself in the pages of my favorite celebrity magazine.

When I need a lift, I will treat my daughters to a spa day. We can all go to choose nail polish and flower headbands to match. Taking these to our nearest spa for a full treatment. I might even indulge in a facial or massage for my guilty pleasure.

At the end of a day, when I can no longer think, I’ll enjoy a nice dose of mindless reality TV while my kids soak in the tub.

I will take the guilt out of guilty pleasures and find mini-opportunities to nurture myself, even when the coast is not entirely clear. It is very important to treat yourself even to something as small as a gourmet cup of coffee, for a job well done—being the mom who does it all!

By Signe Whitson, the mom who does it all. She is a Licensed Social Worker, blogger, author of the book "The Angry Smile: The Psychology of Passive Aggressive Behavior in Families, Schools, and Workplaces, 2nd edition", and contributor of great articles like this one for My Baby Clothes Boutique. Her blog has many other great stories on passive aggressive behavior, check it out.