Relationships: 3 Tips to Bringing Sexy Back in Your Marriage After a Baby
Is your relationship with your partner starting to get stale after becoming parents? Do you look back and reminisce over all the fun you had in the past?
Feeling like the fun times you had as a couple fade away once kids enter the picture happens to most couples. But, don't worry! You can continue to build your family relationship while at the same time growing your marriage.
My husband and I were married 8 years before we put our parent caps on and now that we are parents, the romance dwindled and almost died several times; and it makes perfect sense. Let me explain.
During that 8 year wait to become parents, all of our friends were becoming parents. When I would talk to my friends and try to convince them of some girl time, they were disinterested and fully devoted to their new role as mother. It was strange because it seemed that almost over night, even their voice had changed into this mature “mommy” voice. My husband experienced the same thing with his friends. Here is what I think happens. I have no scientific data, just my own observation.
If we do change into “Mommy and Daddy” mode as soon as those bundles of joy are born, it may mean that when husbands and wives look at each other, they see their own parents and that is the last thing that will encourage sexual relations. Maybe when our husband sees us, he sees his mother and the same goes for us; however, we still need that romantic spark in our lives. It is almost necessary for a healthy marriage since problems with sex is one of the main reasons why couples get divorced. Here are a few things that have worked for me and my husband and I hope will put the fun back into your life and marriage.
3 Tips to Bring Sexy Back in Your Marriage
- Flirt during the day through texting. Someone has to be the instigator and your man will respond to your messages, even if it is as simple as “What are you doing?” or “Guess what I want to do when you get home?”
- Visit them at their workplace. There is something super sexy and mysterious about seeing your mate in another setting, especially when he or she is in a leadership position. It allows you to see where he or she spends time away from you and seeing him outside the "Daddy Zone” or her outside the "Mommy Zone" is a HUGE turn on.
- Go out to a new restaurant in town with another couple. Getting together with other couples allows you to look at your partner through the eyes of other people. Being in a different adult-only setting helps you remember why you fell in love with your partner. Make sure the other couple is one you both like, but don’t spend a lot of time with regularly. It will put you on your best behavior with them, but more importantly, with each other.
After 15 years, I can promise these 3 simple steps really help improve your marital relationship. Just step out of your usual family box now and then. When you combine these steps with remembering all the things your spouse has done for you over the years, you will discover a deeper, more exciting love than you’ve ever known!
Alicia Ivey is a superb wife and mother. She has traveled for over 25 years singing and speaking at different venues. She enjoys family time as well as going on those ever so important “dates” with her husband. During her spare time Alicia enjoys writing and sharing her advice and stories with other parents through My Baby Clothes dot com. While shopping for new fall baby clothes makes sure you pick up the matching baby headbands and a baby hat for those cooler days. Photo courtesy of Flickr.
Does your role as a parent sometimes get in the way of building your marriage? How can you continue to have fun in your marriage once kids are in the picture? What are your favorite ways to continue to date your spouse and keep the romance alive?