Role Model: Ronnie Tyler is Good at Being @BlackAndMarriedWithKids
Making a Difference—How many of you can say that you got into blogging because of your husband? How many of you can say that your husband even knows what you talk about on your blog, or cares about the meaning of words like "post" and "link love"? Ronnie Tyler, a wife and mother of four in the Washington D.C. area, can answer "yes" to all of those questions. She and her husband Lamar are BlackAndMarriedWithKids and they, in fact, blog together.
Started in 2007, after the success of Lamar's blog MyVoiceDC.com, their blog addresses the need for positive role models of marriage and parenting in the black community. Says Ronnie, "Seventy percent of African American kids are being born out of wedlock. With statistics like that, there are whole pockets of people, whole neighborhoods that have never even seen marriage." So, they write about what life is like for them, sharing parenting and marital tips through posts and video commentaries.
Their message—that being "black and married with kids" is possible and pleasant—actually spreads farther than their blog, through the documentaries they began producing a couple of years ago. Through Happily Ever After, their first film, the Tylers sought to challenge negative media representations of black marriage and relationships through interviews with real-life, successful black couples. In it, marriage experts speak on the prevalence of black marriage stereotypes and the multi-layered effect of the decline of black marriage and families. This film was followed by "You Saved Me" and then "Men Ain't Boys." Each release opens in the movie theaters of about 25 cities with established BMWK fan bases, often with panel discussions and other face-to-face opportunities for spreading their message.
Their passion for the success of marriage and, thus, of families, transcends race, though. In a recent post on having a happy marriage, Edward C. Lee, guest poster, shared these tried-and-true tips:
- "Adopt a perspective of love of your spouse, in spite of whatever gets on your nerves about them. In some kind of weird way, knowing that you are being a good husband or wife regardless of the situation or how you are treated buys you a sense of peace and happiness that is very empowering."
- "Do what-cha like. Whatever you like to do, find time, make time, steal the time to do it as often as your life allows. It makes getting a call from your spouse to tell you that something expensive is in need of repair that much more manageable."
- "Make quiet time. I am a firm believer that if you approach life with inner happiness you gain the upper hand on whatever life throws at you. And the same goes for marriage. When you are happy within yourself, it becomes easier for you to adjust to whatever is going on and meet it with a level head."
All of this is amazing when you consider that Ronnie also works from home full-time as a certified IT Project manager, and parents four children ages 3, 4, 9, and 18. She finds herself teaching her 3 year-old her ABCs and helping her 18 year-old with college applications at the same time! She is a busy woman whose secret to accomplishing so much is to make sure she carves out time for her family between dinner and bed time, blogs at night, and relies on her husband as a close partner in the blog and in life.
When it comes to marriage, what do you feel is most important in having a successful relationship with your spouse? What tried-and-true tips work well for you and for others?