Shopping: How to Shift Your Perspective

by Sarah Hoopes on August 5th, 2012 | 2 Comments »

A few weeks ago I read an excellent book “The Slight Edge” by Leo Weidner. It has caused me to make a lot of changes and do a lot of shifting in my life. One of his suggestions is to actually schedule weekly time with my kids. He suggested 20 minutes a month, which I have been feeling impressed to do for a while and it felt like now was the time to do it. I chose to schedule two hours at a time; the kids were elated. On one of these two-hour blocks with my 10 year old Adrianne, she chose to go window shopping. She wanted to go to the mall, more specifically the Apple Store to see how much money she would have to save to get an iPad 2.

As we arrived at the mall, I realized I have hated shopping because of our tight budget for the past few years. Every time I went shopping was either for birthdays, special occasions, or Christmas and I had to find the best bargains, while matching the needs and wants of the people I was shopping for. It has been exhausting! Thus, I hated shopping.

As one of the changes in my life (from the book I mentioned above), I also realized I didn’t allow myself to go into the Crate & Barrel Store because I knew people who shopped there had money, therefore I didn’t go in that store. Well, I deliberately went in to Crate & Barrel. To my surprise it was not as expensive as I imagined and they have great things.

Adrianne and I took turns on picking stores. I must tell you, this little girl has a keen sense of fashion. She also knows the name brands and what is in style (unlike her mom, I must confess). We walked into this store and she fell in love with this pair of sandals. I took one look at the price tag and started trying to persuade her to put them back on the shelf.

Here are some of the things I said:

"They are too expensive and you are saving your money for the iPad 2."
"Your feet aren’t done growing and you will grow out of them by next summer."
"We should find something cheaper for you to buy."

Her big green eyes were full of excitement. Her replies were:

"Mom, they are beautiful! And I’ve waited for the iPad this long; I can wait a little longer."
"My feet don’t grow that fast and I just love them!"
"They are comfy and BEAUTIFUL!"
Then, finally she said it: “Mom, I love them! I have the money, they are my size and I am getting them!”

How grateful I am for the tenacity and fearless attitude of my Adrianne. She didn’t allow my self-imposed limitations to limit her! She lived in the present and was completely free to do what she wanted because of her confidence in self and what she wanted.

She paid $48.09 for her beautiful sandals, and she was very happy with them. Through this process, I could almost hear, and could definitely feel, the shift in the gears of my brain. From then on I wasn’t afraid or embarrassed to go into any store. Another store I avoided was Nordstrom because I had no business being there (no money to buy anything) and the people that shopped or worked there would take one look at me and know that. So I didn’t go there.

During our shopping venture, we stopped at another store. They had an electronic pad that you could write on and Adrianne wrote, “Adrianne and mom were here and we are rock.” I tell you, we had a blast. We went into this store that sold beautiful bracelets, rings, and other things. I found a bracelet that had my name all over it (not really, I just fell in love with it). I looked at the price tag and saw that it was $85.00! My very first thought was, "How can I make this myself? This is too much money!" The second thought that was louder than the first, "When you have the money, treat yourself to beautiful things; you deserve it!" With a smile on my face, I put the bracelet down and I was okay to want something beautiful for myself.

And last, we made it into the Apple store. Adrianne asked all the questions about the iPad 2. By then, I was a pro with the fearless stuff. I asked all the questions about the things I wanted from the store. I wrote them down, so I know how much I need when I go back to get them and I feel great!

We ran out of time, so I didn’t make it to Nordstrom (The mall closed; we spent more than two hours. :)), which was on my to-do list. I just want you to know that I had no idea of the self-limiting beliefs I had and honored every time I went shopping. I am very grateful for a 10-year-old with her beautiful attitude of “I LOVE IT, I AM GOING TO GET IT BECAUSE I CAN!”