Make a Difference at Home by Focusing on Your Family This Week!
June 7, 2009 by jyl johnson pattee · 30 Comments
Make a meaningful difference this summer by taking the Summer of Service (SOS) Challenge. Here’s how:
- Commit to do one act of kindness each week based on the week’s challenge.
- Leave a comment with ideas relating to the week’s challenge as well as your experience(s) performing it.
- Grab the SOS button at the bottom of this post and put it on your blog or social networking site.
- Enter to win each week’s giveaway. Check out this week’s family focused giveaway by clicking here.
- Join #gno to connect with other Mom It Forward moms about the challenge. (Note: 10 lucky winners will receive popcorn gift packs during #gno!)
10 Ways to Make a Difference This Week
Here are 10 ideas to help you Focus on Family that will make a meaningful difference this week!
- Choose your favorite games and set aside an hour to play them together as a family.
- Enjoy mealtime together, having each person take a turn sharing about his or her favorite part of the day.
- Have a talent show where each person in the family is encouraged to participate. Talents can include simple things like doing a karate kick, juggling, or telling a story to more complex things like playing a musical instrument, reciting a poem, or performing a dance number.
As a family, write a letter or send a package to a family member that lives far away, expressing your love and gratitude for that person.- Decide on your favorite at-home family activity and plan some time this week to do it. For one extra step, assign each family member a day of the week and allow him or her to choose which family activity to do. Set aside an hour to Focus on Family each day this week.
- Make a treat together as a family and share it with a neighbor or other relative.
- Create a CD with all your favorite family songs. Listen, sing, and dance to them together.
- Choose a favorite family movie and set a time this week to have a family movie night. Don’t forget your Orville Redenbacher’s popcorn! Mmmmm!
- Come up with a family mission statement. Identify your family goals and short- and long-term goals. Remember to include fun stuff in your plans like vacations, at-home family activities, etc.
- Make time every day this week to spend one-on-one time with each of your children, telling them how much you love them. Do the same with your spouse!
This week’s SOS Challenge is sponsored by Orville Redenbacher’s. What other ideas do you have for Focusing on Family? Please share a comment here, letting us know how Focusing on Family has made a meaningful difference for you and your family this week.
Photo used with permission from Flickr.
How Can You Build a Strong, Healthy Relationship With Your Teenager?
January 27, 2009 by jyl johnson pattee · 7 Comments
Guest post author Elizabeth Donovan is a psychotherapist, mom to three little girls, freelance writer, and owner of ParentingPink.com, a parenting site dedicated to raising strong, resilient girls.
“Mom, you are so lame! I hate you!”
Sound familiar?
Raising a teenager is difficult. Maintaining a strong relationship in the midst of raging hormones and endless arguing can be one of the most difficult challenges of parenthood.
I have listened to parents struggling with their teens express a heartfelt desire to build a better relationship, but often they have no idea where to begin. Good communication is an essential building block to a strong relationship between parents and teens. Learning how to talk to your teen will open doors for both of you and serve to strengthen your relationship.
- Listen “Actively.” One of the key components to developing a healthy relationship with your teen is to actively listen to what they say.
- Stop what you are doing.
- Look directly at your teen and give her your full attention.
- Listen carefully to what she is saying and comment on what you think you heard. You might do this by rephrasing what was said to you.
- Be sure to give your teenager an answer or ask her to repeat herself if you don’t understand what she is trying to say.
- Be respectful. Treat your teen the same way you would like to be treated.
· Keep your anger and frustration to a minimum. Try to be responsive, not reactive. This may be difficult when your teen is asking you for something you disagree with, but the key is for parents to take their emotional responses out of the equation. It’s better to take a break than to say something impulsive and risk damaging your relationship.
· Give your teen ownership of the problem. Often, parents want to fix their teen’s problem. Unfortunately, that response can be self-serving. When your daughter gets a D on her report card, whose problem is it? Your response should be brief and to-the-point: ask her how she’s going to manage it, give consequences, and be done with it. The more worked-up you get, the less likely she will attempt to resolve it herself.
· Get it in writing. Often, good communication fails because there is a genuine misunderstanding among parents and teenagers. You said, “Be home by midnight,” but your teen heard “Be home ‘around’ midnight.” It’s a good idea to write down rules to minimize misunderstandings.
· Role model. Though they often won’t admit it, teenagers scrutinize your “every” move. If they see you break rules, they’ll believe its ok for them to do the same.
· Reserve one-on-one time. Once children reach adolescence, parents often think that doing things together is less important. After all, don’t teenagers really want to be with their friends all the time? The truth is that most adolescents long for time with their family or going to the mall with mom, but are afraid to ask for it. So, offer your teen special time with you. It can provide fun conversations and important memories.
· Give praise and reframe statements. Its human nature to point out the negatives, but often takes an act of courage to say what’s right. Pay attention to the things your teenager does that are worthy of praise. If you have a complaint, try to positively reframe it. For example, “I appreciate it when you pick your clothes up off the floor” rather than, “Pick your clothes up or else you’re on restriction this weekend”.
· Share your feelings. When you share your genuine feelings about an issue, your teen may be less resistant. For example, “I worry when I can’t get hold of you on your cell” allows your teen to understand your perspective.
· Never reject your teen. There are many times parents get so frustrated and overwhelmed by their teenagers behavior that they shut them out. Walking away from your teen or refusing to talk with her will only serve to drive a damaging wedge in your relationship. Parental rejection is often the root of more severe behavioral problems in teens. If you feel you absolutely cannot deal with your teenager, it’s best to contact a mental health professional to help sort things out.
And remember, the key to any lasting, loving relationship is good communication and mutual respect.
Photo credits Bass_NRoll, rentamoose, mafleen
