Keep Your Marriage Hot Through the Hectic Holiday Season


I have a vivid image of my husband sitting on the couch next to me last December, attempting to connect and convince me to head off to bed. I was hunched over, pen in hand, frantically hand-addressing a pile of 300 Christmas cards. My body ached, my hand was numb, and I was throbbing from exhaustion … but did I stop and join my wonderful husband like a rational woman?

Couple smiling together Of course not. I said something snarky like, “Well, I’ve got to get all of these cards in the mail by tomorrow, otherwise they won’t make it on time,” to which my husband replied, “Who cares?”

“I do,” I said, a little more sharply than necessary. In my mind, I was wondering why he wasn’t more grateful and supportive since I was sending out cards to keep in touch with our entire life’s network of friends and family. Yet, he simply wanted a little more of me.

In most moms’ lives, the holidays are fun but also overwhelming and full of extra tasks and activities. We feel compelled to create amazing, movie-like memories for our children, while showering everyone with gifts and treats to show a whole year’s worth of love. While we might enjoy these things, they suck up our energy and it takes a toll.

The tasks that fall out during the crazy times include caring for ourselves and for our husbands … because our men love us no matter what, right? It’s easy to skip that workout, skimp on sleep, or leave out loving our men, while we’d rarely consider forgoing our kid’s Christmas activities or missing a party.

Actually, I don’t think our husbands understand at all. They think we’re crazy! They “need” to have their wives in every way possible—including in the bedroom—on a regular basis to feel happy and satisfied. But what mom has time to give her husband what he needs when she’s been shopping, writing, volunteering, wrapping, and partying herself to the point of being an exhausted hag? I’ve been prone to collapsing and passing out before getting my clothes off during the holiday rush.

The men in our lives get a little tired and, let’s face it, frightened of their frenzied and over-extended wives. This year, commit to a different kind of holiday season. Keep your energy expenditures in alignment with your priorities—remember to keep your spouse near the top!

6 Tips to Keep Your Marriage Hot Through the Chaos of the Holiday Season

  1. Commit yourself to getting enough sleep to ensure that you have the energy for a libido your husband will appreciate (best present for him all around!).
  2. Prioritize regular workouts so you will feel fit (and sexy!)—Bonus: it will keep your stress in check too!
  3. Choose to simplify the holidays and avoid the typical over-scheduled madness, freeing up time to tackle the next item on your monster to-do list.
  4. Plan regular dates away from the kids to click and reconnect. Do something silly, exciting, or just out of the norm. Not every date in the month of December should include a holiday party or Christmas shopping.
  5. Enjoy a little downtime every night with your man. Chat by the Christmas tree over a hot chocolate or glass of wine, ask for a foot rub (offer a back rub), or watch a brainless sitcom and laugh together. Put everything aside and show your husband he’s always #1.
  6. Start a new holiday tradition for just the two of you; maybe a special date you could repeat every year or a moving Christmas movie you could watch together.

Have you been keeping your marriage hot and a priority as the holiday madness revs up? I’d love to hear from you!

 Erin Cox is on a mission to revolutionize motherhood into a hotter, healthier, and more joyful experience, as outlined in her new book, One Hot Mama: The Guide to Getting Your Mind and Body Back After Baby (Hay House). Her powerful messages ring true for all women – that we need to take utmost care of our physical, mental, and spiritual well-being so we have energy and joy to pursue our passions and be the partners and parents we have always aspired to be. Erin is an author, life coach, and inspirational speaker in addition to being the mother of three fabulous little ones and the wife to one hot husband. To learn more, connect with her at: or watch her book trailer at

Featured image courtesy of Flickr.

The following two tabs change content below.


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Web Statistics