Motherhood: Yakini Etheridge Walks the Line Between Prissy and Parental
Before she became a mom, Yakini Etheridge used to have a standing beauty appointment once a week. Then, there were times when she couldn't remember when she'd last put on make-up. Like many women, Yakini Etheridge initially got into blogging to chronicle her motherhood adventure, particularly for her friends and family in her home state of Maryland. She approached her blog, Prissy Mommy, with all sorts of enthusiasm and excitement. But today, with two children, a lawyer husband, a "real-life" job as a clinical psychologist, and two other blogs besides, she approaches beauty and life with a much more balanced perspective.
Visit Prissy Mommy, Prissy Reviews, or Style Me Prissy, and you'll see she's very much into being a mom and being fashionable. Prissy Mommy is filled with pics of her two boys, Chase and Bryce, and her husband Derek, and posts about potty-training and preschool. Prissy Reviews is filled with reviews and giveaways of children's products; it was started specifically because the readers of her first blog asked her to keep the "commercialism" separate from her motherhood posts. And Style Me Prissy features Yakini as "the woman I'd thought I'd lost when I became a mom," the beautiful woman who loves crystal-encrusted stilettos, pink lipstick, and diamond salt and pepper shakers.
While she has enjoyed the expansion of her brand, she faces a challenge perhaps unique to her career, which has made the balancing act a little difficult, she says. While most bloggers strive to limit how much they reveal about their families and certainly about their children, just for identity protection, she must also limit what she shares and with whom she shares it because of the inappropriateness of her patients knowing too much about her personal life. "My blogging definitely has its downsides," she says. "I continually have to find the balance between what's appropriate to share and what's not."
That being said, Yakini's psychology background has been a boon to her parenting, in that she understands the science behind it. Ask her what psychology models best apply to parenting and she begins listing Freudian psycho-sexual theories, the Attachment Parenting model, and Donald Winnicott's theory of the Good-Enough Mother. As Yakini states, the "good-enough mother" starts off with an almost complete adaptation to her infant’s needs, and as time proceeds she adapts less and less completely, gradually, according to the infant’s growing ability to deal with her failure. Her failure to adapt to every need of the child helps them adapt to external realities (source). This kind of mother looks at the bigger picture of her child, whether or not they are happy and healthy overall, doesn't sweat the small stuff, and somehow finds the balance.
She passionately wants other moms to accept that they are good enough, and to keep their balance, by realizing two things:
- You don't have to lose yourself completely when you become a mother. You can still be a "girly girl" and a stellar mom. Also, it's okay to date!
- Stick to your values. Every mother will receive "input" from people around them on anything from breast-feeding to home-schooling. It can be easy to feel self-conscious about your decisions. Don't.