Is Your Sleeping Environment Helping or Hurting Your Marriage?


Getting a good night's rest is critical to functioning at our best. What happens in a marriage then when one partner is a sound sleeper, but the other isn't? Or, when one partner snores or tosses and turns while the other lies awake, trying to get to sleep or worse, is awakened and can't get back to getting those important zzzzs? Two things are important: 1) Creating the right sleeping environment and 2) Choosing the right bed.

Creating the Right Sleeping Environment

Sleep is a very individual thing and yet, when we get married, we take what works for two people individually and try and merge them. This enhances some relationships and detracts from others. The key to having the former happen is to create a sleeping environment that works for both partners.

Here are tips that can help enhance your sleeping environment:

Create a sleep ritual that works for you.

If you are one of the lucky ones who fall asleep the minute your head hits the pillow, consider yourself fortunate. For the vast majority, creating habits for winding down is a necessity to facilitate falling asleep.

In my relationship, I can fall asleep quickly as long as everything is quiet in the room, but my husband needs at least an hour to get "ready" for bed. His ritual includes turning off the computer/phone and reading a book and winding down in a completely silent house. So, we go to bed at different times to ensure we both fall asleep quickly and get the best night's sleep possible. Because it is important for us to spend quality time together without the kids, we have a habit of watching our favorite show on HULU and chat about our day every night for an hour to an hour and a half before start starting our going to bed process.X

Some people find that a hot drink like herb tea or a warm bath helps them sleep better. Determine if these types of things work for you and consider adding them to your sleep ritual.

Choose the right colors for your bedroom.

How you decorate your sleeping environment plays a big role in getting a good night's sleep. You wouldn't believe how big of a difference just choosing the right color of paint can make. We chose to paint an accent wall in our room mustard yellow to set the right tone

Along the same lines of paint color, check the color of your lights. Green and blue can be energizing so steer clear of those for the bedroom and stick to red, orange, and yellow lights.

Have white noise in the background.

White noise, such as a fan, can help you block out sudden and random noises that happen in the middle of the night. Because we go to sleep at different times, having white noise is important for our sleep environment.

Choosing the Right Bed

Once your sleeping environment is set, you can move on to ensuring you have just the right bed for you and your partner. Beds impact not just your sleep, but your body and your relationship.

Get the right bed (for your body).

I didn't think investing in a bed was important until Sleep Number offered to outfit us with a package of Select Comfort products, including a bed, a Pillowology pillow, and sheets. I know. I know! Easy for me to say. I got the product for free. BUT... I think I would have slept on my used, old mattress forever to spare the expense of buying a new bed, which is sooooo ridiculous after feeling the difference after just one night on my new Sleep Number. Honestly! What have I been doing to my back all these years? And pillows make a huge difference in how your neck feels the next morning.

Whatever type of bed or pillow works for you is great. Just make sure that you invest in good products from the get go as it can make all the difference in how your body feels and performs the next day and beyond.

Get the right bed (for your sleep).

In my old bed, I tossed and turned every night. And I thought that was just me. I noticed it was happening more and more as I grew older, so I literally thought it was my age. But, and I know I sound like a commercial (I was born a human walking billboard, what can I say?), no more tossing and turning after getting the new Sleep Number. Seriously! Find the right products for you and watch how they can make a difference in your sleep.

Get the right bed (for your marriage).

I realize some people sleep while spooning. So cute for them! I need my space. Yet, I want to be beside my spouse. So, Sleep Number's split king (yep! two mattresses in one king-sized bed) is perfect for us. The sheet goes across both mattresses, making it seem the same as any other king-sized bed, but there are indeed two mattresses, making it so I don't ever feel or get woken up when Troy turns over or gets into bed or whatnot. I'm not a super light sleeper, but these things have caused a lot of restlessness for me. If you're the same, consider a split mattress.

Getting a great night's sleep is the key to productive and happier days. Choosing the right sleep environment and getting the right bed are just two ways to ensure that can happen.

For more tips on creating your own bedroom haven, visit the Sleep Number Bedroom Haven page and a get your coupon for a Free Illume Candle (while supplies last).

What are your and your spouse's sleep habits? What are your tips for having sleep enhance and not detract from your marriage?

Discloure: I was provided with a Sleep Number bed and bedding. The opinions I voiced on the differences between my new bed and my previous non-Sleep Number bed are my own.

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An active part of the Mom It Forward team, Jyl primarily writes about parenting, social good, and all things travel related. In a past life, Jyl was an award-winning copywriter and designer of corporate training programs for Fortune 100 companies. Offline, Jyl is married to @TroyPattee; a mom to two teen boys and a beagle named #Hashtag; loves large amounts of cheese, dancing, and traveling; and lives in the beautiful Rocky Mountains. Topping her bucket list is the goal to visit 50 countries by the time she's 50.


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