Pregnant Again After Adopting – Essay


“The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams.”
― Oprah Winfrey

When my husband and I were engaged, we had "the conversation". You know - the one where we planned our future down to the very last detail. We joked about having eight little ones running around. We were both open to having as many children as we were blessed with, and we really meant it.  My oldest, Julia, is fourteen. My second oldest, Nate, is eleven. I had one miscarriage between Julia and Nate, but I thought that was just normal. Pregnant after adopting - My personal experience

After Nate, more miscarriages happened. Years went by. Five more miscarriages happened. My husband and I were surprised and sad that I wasn't able to carry any more children to term.

Adoption had always been something we talked about. We both agreed when we were dating that we'd like to adopt someday. The very first boy I ever babysat was adopted. His parents drove about five hours in the middle of the night to bring him home, after receiving a phone call they waited three years to get. They were an amazing example of what adoption could look like.

We started the process, quickly met a family who wanted a forever family for their little boy, and earlier this month finalized the process. Riley, the cutest three year old red head you've ever seen, is officially our son.

Adopting after miscarriage - Pregnant after adopting. A personal story

Then We Got a Pregnancy Curve Ball

The craziest part of the story is that I am now pregnant. Today, I'm twelve weeks along. This is the farthest I've made it in eleven years.

My husband and I look at each other and laugh. I'm going to be forty next year. Forty with a newborn, a four year old, twelve year old, and fifteen year old. I'm pretty sure that was not one of the scenarios that my husband and I talked about when we were engaged.

It's amazing and great and weird and confusing.

Strangers Chime in on My Journey

We've had all sorts of interesting comments - some welcome and some not welcome.

  • "Well, you finally relaxed and were able to get pregnant."
  • "Do regret adopting, now that you are able to have another child?"
  • "Why do you need more kids?"

But my favorite comment is the one that came from my daddy. "All I know is that you've been blessed. You've received a blessing on top of a blessing."

Pregnant After Adopting

So here I sit, with a beautiful, new, three year old son. I quietly pray that I am able to hold the little one inside me in my arms in April of next year. I will whisper to Riley what an amazing big brother he will be. I will smile at Riley and tell him that I am so thankful that he will be home with me to help with the baby. I will hold Riley tightly and thank God for the mother that took a chance on allowing me to love her son.

Everyone's parenting journey is so unique - what unique paths have you followed on yours?

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Kate writes a lifestyle legacy blog named Songs Kate Sang and is a professional photographer. She enjoys handwritten correspondence, and may break out into musical numbers at any time. She and her husband Brian have been married since 1999. They have three children - Julia, 14, Nate, 11, and Riley, 3 + one on the way. She is a Texas girl and has lived in Arizona for 5 wonderful (and hot!) years. Kate writes from the heart about adoption and miscarriage. She is passionate about encouraging and serving others!


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